Consequences
by Roisin Dubh
Summary: If Jedi are taught to listen to their feelings, yet avoid extremes, what happens when QuiGon Jinn realized that his own feelings are closer to the surface than he expected.
1. Chapter 1

**Consequences**

_Author's Note:_ This little piece of fanfic is inspired by the Star Wars story originally created by George Lucas. As with my other fanfic work, this is AU and OC… I will be the first to admit that, while I have enjoyed the Star Wars movies (some more than others); I have not immersed myself into the details of the Star Wars universe. As a result – or consequence, if I may – this story is painted with broad strokes, so some of the details I have here may not mesh up completely with what is canon. I beg your indulgence in this area and hope you still enjoy the story.

_Important disclaimers:_ Of course, I don't own the rights to any characters created by George Lucas. They are his and I write this for enjoyment only. Vandalyn is my creation, as are a few of the minor characters, and they are my small contribution to the Star Wars universe.

**Chapter 1**

Vandalyn Mateo slowly opened her eyes and sighed. She tried to settle herself back into her meditation. She centered her thoughts, trying to sink back into the warm comforting darkness where she found her own peace within the universe. A ripple touched her, a slight disturbance in the Force. It distracted her again, and irritated her profoundly. Soon she would embark on her final test; the test that would prove she was ready to take on the full mantle of the Jedi. That she was no longer a padawan, but a true Master. She did not welcome this distraction.

When Vandalyn rose from the floor it was a fluid motion. Perhaps a walk would serve her best, the gentle activity serving to clear and settle her mind from whatever it was that hovered at the edge of her thoughts – or, perhaps, bring it into focus. As soon as she stepped outside, it was clear to Vandalyn that she would find no peace. There was a buzz of commotion in the hallway and a group of other padawan hurried around the corner. As they passed Vandalyn, she reached out to tap one on the shoulder.

"What's going on?" she asked as he slowed. She recognized his face, but couldn't think of his name.

"The Jedi Council." Vandalyn was surprised that he whispered. "They have gathered in open session… We've heard that they are going to reprimand Qui-Gon Jinn. I've heard it said that he has begun an affair with a padawan and will not reveal who it is!"

Her hand dropped away. Qui-Gon? Reprimanded for an affair? The Jedi were always cautious and guarded with their emotions for any extremes offered a path to the Dark Side. Relationships beyond the bond of padawan and Master, or even devoted friendships, while not forbidden, were not encouraged. In very rare cases, and they numbered less than ten in all the long history of the Jedi, two Masters stepped beyond those bounds, and embraced love. But to have a relationship of that nature with a padawan was unprecedented. If the Council felt the Master had harmed the padawan's training… they may refuse to allow the padawan to even become a Master, and they would go very, very hard on Qui-Gon.

A cold coil of fear stung her, taking her by surprise. She blinked and then took a deep breath. _There is no place for fear in my heart,_ she thought as she centered herself. It took a moment, but the coldness subsided and she felt her own balance return. With it came a sharp moment of clarity and she raced down the hall to the Council Chamber. It was an open session, meaning anyone within the Jedi, of whatever rank, could attend and the room was already full. Rumor of what would happen had run rampant through the complex. Vandalyn ignored the grumbles and protests that followed her as she pushed her way to the front.

The Council was already seated along the wall where windows looked out over an expansive view of the city. In the center of the room Qui-Gon Jinn stood quietly. He was dressed in his simple brown over robe and his face was calm, but she expected no less from a Master of his stature. He faced the two of the Council elders – Mace Windu and Yoda – and near the edge of the circle, not far from where she stood, Vandalyn could see Qui-Gon's own padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan's face betrayed nothing, but she saw the concern in his eyes.

Without preamble, Mace Windu began. His voice sharp, he silenced the murmurs in the room. "You leave us little choice. Why are you so recalcitrant, Qui-Gon? You do not deny this affair, yet you will not name the other. You give us little room for consideration."

"A bond you did forge," said Yoda. "A strong one. Felt it, I did, when it happened."

Qui-Gon's voice was quiet but there was steel in it. "The other involved in this has not suffered for it. I will not let them suffer now. You cannot force the name from me, not without considerable distress on both of our parts."

Mace Windu did not miss the fact that Qui-Gon even concealed his lover's gender by refusing to say "him" or "her." For a long time, he stared in silence at the unrepentant Jedi before him. Qui-Gon had always followed his own path, often flying in the face of the Council's wishes. But this. This time, perhaps he had crossed the line. The Council had to do something.

"We cannot force the name from you, that is true, but we can censure you, Qui-Gon." Windu frowned as he broke the silence. He stared at his friend, his dark eyes intense. "If we must, we can take your rank. No longer will you be a Master. Your padawan will be removed from your care, and you will never teach another." During this Qui-Gon's expression never wavered. Qui-Gon may have remained serene, but the possibility of his dismissal from the Jedi alarmed Obi-Wan. The shock registered on his face. Vandalyn saw it, and heard the murmurs swirl around her. This could not be allowed to continue.

Windu looked at Yoda who nodded quietly. "Very well. I must ask for your robe and your light saber, Qui-Gon."

"No," said Vandalyn from where she stood. "That must not be!"

A flash of something passed over Qui-Gon's face when she pushed further through the crowd and stepped onto the floor before the Council. All eyes turned to her in unison and the weight of their stares landed heavily on her shoulders.

"This should not be your quarrel, padawan," said Qui-Gon.

"With respect, Master, it must be," she answered. She turned to face the elders. "You cannot… you must not do this. Qui-Gon Jinn is one of the pre-eminent teachers within the Jedi. He has taught many lessons to all of us, and to lose his wisdom would be a tragedy for future Jedi."

"Interrupt us not, Vandalyn Mateo," said Yoda. "The consequences of his actions, Qui-Gon must bear." He stared at her intently, searching her face, searching the aura of energy that – as a Jedi – surrounded her.

Slowly, Vandalyn sank to her knees and folded her arms across her chest, her palms touching the rough cloth of her outer robe. It was a gesture of respect and a request for mercy. Windu shifted in his chair; he couldn't remember the last time someone had thrown themselves on the mercy of the Council in this manner. Vandalyn took a deep breath to center herself again and then she looked up at the two serious, solemn faces staring back at her.

"Please," she said. "Do not punish Qui-Gon for something he did not start. If you must punish someone, punish me. I am the padawan he seeks to protect."

-- -- --

_Well, that's it for the first one. I'd appreciate reviews - especially ones with constructive (i.e., useful) feedback. Thanks!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note:_ Thanks for the first chapter reviews, everyone. I really appreciate the feedback. I hope you all continue to enjoy the story.

_Important disclaimers:_ Only Vandalyn and a few of the minor characters are mine. Everything else is comes, ultimately, from George Lukas' imagination.

**Chapter 2**

The room erupted at Vandalyn's confession. Murmurs. Whispers. Gasps. That was enough for Windu. "Clear the chamber. Everyone, go!" He pointed forcefully at the door. "Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Vandalyn and Usa… You alone remain." The sudden rush to the door was quieter than one might expect, but then, the Jedi tread lightly when and where they walked. Vandalyn took that moment to look at Usa Tabor, her own Master, and the man who had nurtured her development for many years. He met her eyes steadily, and Vandalyn could not tell if the expression on his face was disbelief, disappointment, or both.

She looked back down at the floor. _There is no chaos; there is harmony. There is no chaos; there is harmony. _She repeated part of the Jedi Code in her mind, choosing to focus on the section that had always resonated most deeply with her. Feeling Qui-Gon nearby, she continued to center her thoughts and seek calmness in order to face what was still to come. It was difficult.

The door to the chamber slid shut with a barely audible hiss. After the storm of voices, it seemed suddenly and eerily quiet. Windu leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, waiting for something. With a frown, he looked at Qui-Gon who continued to stand quietly, his hands now hidden in the arms of his robe, and stare back at Windu. Windu's mouth pinched into a frown and raised an eyebrow. Still, there was no response from Qui-Gon, and soon Windu turned his attention to Vandalyn. Feeling his stare, she resolutely continued to look at the floor, knowing the defiance in her eyes would only harden the elder against her.

"Look at me," he finally commanded, and she obeyed. "You understand, Vandalyn, what this may mean?"

"Yes, Master Windu, I do." She kept her voice low and neutral despite the fact she wanted nothing more than to leap to her feet and explain everything. She thought about what had transpired only a few minutes before, hearing Windu's voice in her head demanding Qui-Gon's robe and his light saber. She knew there was no way they could force the light saber from him; a Jedi made his or her own light saber, it was not bestowed. But Windu's words had been for the audience. To even ask for such a gesture… it was unheard of, and the padawan who heard it would never, ever forget it. However, if that was the gesture required, she would offer it.

Vandalyn unhooked her light saber and put it on the floor in front of her knees. "If this is what is required, then it is yours," she said, but there was a trace of sadness in her voice.

"Now, lost everything may be," said Yoda. "Your feelings for Qui-Gon, caused much trouble they have. Regret them now, do you?"

A few feet behind her, Qui-Gon watched in silence, wishing there was a way he could prevent this. _I am truly feeble to ask myself to wish something like that, _he thought. _I could have prevented this, but I did not. If they cast her from the Jedi, deny her an opportunity to become a Knight, then indeed I have caused irrevocable harm. I must bear the blame, the shame, and the consequences. _He began to take a deeper breath as he prepared to speak, but Vandalyn stopped him with her own words.

"Regret? No, not now, not ever." She looked over her shoulder, directly at Qui-Gon as she answered, but her voice filled the room. Then she looked back at Yoda. "I am sorry this has caused him pain, but I do not regret one moment that he and I have shared, even though it costs me everything."

She paused only for a moment, and then turned to look at Usa Tabor. "And I am sorry if I have disappointed you, Master. I know you have asked the Council to retire from training so you can focus on your studies. I am your last padawan; please forgive me if I have failed you." Her Master remained silent, arms folded.

"Be that as it may," said Windu, "we are still faced with a decision. Do we take your future as a Jedi, Vandalyn? Can we risk you becoming a Knight, and perhaps someday a Master, when we know so little of what has transpired? Can we risk Qui-Gon continuing to train and mentor our young Jedi?"

Again silence enveloped the room. Vandalyn, still kneeling, folded her hands in her lap and waited. She was a Jedi, and a Jedi was nothing if not patient. Qui-Gon also waited, but he chose to watch Windu and Yoda. The quiet filled the room for a full ten minutes until a voice finally interrupted.

"Excuse me. Master Windu? Master Yoda?" The voice belonged to Obi-Wan. "Actions should never be judged without proper consideration of the reasons. Sometimes that which is done for the benefit of good, can be seen – on the surface – as evil, and sometimes that which appears evil can, in the end, result in good. Is that not so?"

The barest hint of a smile curled the corner of Qui-Gon's lip. He was pleased with the path of Obi-Wan's thoughts. His padawan, despite the abruptness and confusion of the situation, had considered the options and arrived at an excellent solution.

"Hmmm?" Yoda looked inquiringly at Obi-Wan.

"If that is so, then we should consider not only the actions of Vandalyn and Master Qui-Gon, but the circumstances and reasons that brought them to choose that path."

"An astute observation, padawan," said Usa who was looking at his own kneeling charge. He had seen Vandalyn's back straighten slightly when Obi-Wan spoke. "We can share both of their memories. As we glimpse part of the past, so may we see into the future. I say we judge her – and Qui-Gon – on that." Windu nodded at Usa Tabor and glanced at Yoda.

"Acceptable to me, it is." Yoda settled a little deeper in his chair and the tips of his green ears sagged slightly as he got comfortable. He expected a long afternoon.

Vandalyn felt something in the Force she had never felt before. The closest she could describe it was a sharpening, and she knew she had the full attention and insight of the three elders on her. She let her shoulders drop as she relaxed, it would be folly to fight them.

Mace nodded. "Get up from the floor, Vandalyn, and then tell us your story."

-- -- -- --

_Well, there's chapter two… from here we'll delve into what happened two years ago. I hope you've enjoyed this, and I'd love to get some feedback._


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note:_ I'm pleased you're all enjoying the story so much, and thank you also for the excellent feedback.

_Important disclaimers:_ Only Vandalyn and a few of the minor characters are mine. Everything else is comes, ultimately, from George Lukas' imagination. After this chapter, I'm going to assume that everyone knows this and just get right to the story…

**Chapter 3**

The three Jedi elders watched Vandalyn with neutral faces, concealing what feelings they might have about sharing her memories. Near them sat her fellow padawan, Obi-Wan, his keen eyes shifting among the faces, assessing the situation and drawing his own conclusions. Vandalyn found herself hoping that he did not think less of her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Qui-Gon, who remained standing in the same spot he'd been in when Vandalyn first arrived.

"Speak, Vandalyn," said Windu.

"It all started with two events," she said. "One, an accident. One, an illness. I would say they were unrelated, but as we have all been taught, nothing is ever really by chance and there are no accidents."

Windu sat up straighter in his chair. An accident and an illness? He knew exactly the time Vandalyn referred to. "That was over two years ago!" He glared at Qui-Gon. "Did you stop to think what damage this could do to the training of one so young?"

"She was not a child," said Qui-Gon calmly.

"She was barely an adult," Windu snapped back, his voice rising again.

"That is an exaggeration and untrue." Qui-Gon bit back, the first hit of sharpness in his voice. Mace Windu was entitled to his feelings, but Qui-Gon would not tolerate distortions of the truth. The tension simmered for a moment and then faded when Usa Tabor finally spoke.

"Mace, allow Vandalyn to tell her story. There should be no judgment until she is finished." His voice was soft, but it was clear he was not interested in continuing the argument. With a grunt, Windu settled back in his chair.

Vandalyn nodded her appreciation to Usa and then continued. "Master Tabor had been in an unfortunate accident, and not all of his wounds could be healed quickly. He spent close to two months recovering in all. At the same time, Obi-Wan took ill and was also in need of attention. The Council needed to send word to Qui-Gon, and Master Tabor suggested that I go since Obi-Wan could not…"

"Suggest do you, that Usa Tabor's fault this is?" The question was from Yoda.

"No, Master Yoda, but in truth it was Master Tabor who recommended I be sent."

Yoda nodded. As Vandalyn was speaking each of them could see the story unfold as they shared not only her memories but Qui-Gon's as well. As this part of the story was Vandalyn's alone, there was nothing from Qui-Gon but intent interest. Once the story could be told by both of them, the two sets of memories would create a clearer picture. Only then could the truth of Vandalyn's words be revealed. Only then could she and Qui-Gon be judged. This method of sifting thought was a tool only some of the most advanced Masters could wield, and Yoda knew they would all be exhausted when they were finished.

Vandalyn looked over her shoulder. Qui-Gon gave her a small smile and a nod, encouraging her to continue. "I was sent to the planet of Dunal to join Master Jinn. He was mediating a succession negotiation, and he required a padawan to assist. After, I was to remain with him until he returned here to Coruscant..."

Vandalyn kept her hands folded and concealed within the arms of her robe. Her ship had arrived on Dunal shortly before and now she was being escorted by someone from the Prime Minister's staff. She had to admit, she was looking forward to this assignment. Qui-Gon Jinn was a Jedi Master with formidable reputation. Vandalyn was acquainted with his padawan, and Obi-Wan had always spoken highly of his Master.

"These are the Jedi Knight's quarters," said her escort. "He is expecting you."

"Thank you." Vandalyn inclined her head and the Dunali man continued to walk down the hall. She placed her palm on the circular blue disc on the wall and heard a chime sound within the room.

"Enter."

The door slid open. Vandalyn stepped inside and bowed to the man she found there. Qui-Gon Jinn was tall and had an imposing, reserved bearing. Dressed in the traditional robes of the Jedi, he also wore his hair in the orthodox fashion: the back longer and the sides pulled back.

"Vandalyn Mateo," he said. "Master Tabor has been pleased with your studies."

"Thank you, Master. I hope I will not disappoint his faith in my abilities."

"How does Obi-Wan's recovery progress?"

"Well. I have brought a full report for you from the doctors. They say the worst of the virus has passed but it will still be another month before he is capable of resuming all of his padawan duties. My own Master, Usa Tabor, wished me to assure you that he will personally see to it that Obi-Wan does not fall excessively behind in his studies until you return."

That brought a small smile to Qui-Gon's face. "Usa is an old friend of mine; I know Obi-Wan is in excellent hands. Do you know our objective here?"

"Dunal is a modified monarchy with a single head of state – the Doma – who is supported by and advised by a governing council – the Doma-tasan – made up of individuals from each of the sixteen major families. These families are also divided by caste… with four families per caste. Heredity remains in the family line unless there are no heirs. At that time an election is held and a new family out of the sixteen is elevated to the role of ruling house. The last ruler, or Doma, died when his heir was still an infant, and the infant did not survive another year."

Qui-Gon nodded. Vandalyn had done her homework during her journey.

"It is my understanding," she continued, "that the election process has reached a stalemate because the houses are split evenly. There has never been a precedent for a situation such as this and the Doma-tasan has asked for the Jedi to mediate the situation, and – if needed – cast the deciding vote."

"Very good," Qui-Gon said. "I've told them that we will meet each day to discuss the merits of each candidate. I anticipate we can resolve this by the end of the week. I need you to observe the discussion and serve as another set of eyes for me."

"As you wish, Master."

"This will be our living area until our task is finished. This is the common area, and there is a patio and garden outside that we have access to if we so choose. Your room is there." He gestured to a closed door on the opposite side of the common room. "Feel free to retire for the evening. Tomorrow, we'll begin."

-- -- -- --

Maybe not quite so much of a hook on this one, but I needed a bit of a set up for what's going to come. Please let me know what you think…!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When Qui-Gon had told Vandalyn that he wanted her to observe the discussion, he had failed to mention how much shouting there would be. It started on the first day and had not abated. It was now five hours into day three and Vandalyn's head was pounding. At this rate, it did not appear that Master Jinn's hope for a resolution by the end of the week would materialize. The Doma-tasan was split between two candidates: Bruva Tag and Ressem Ud. For the past hour their most vocal proponents had been shouting across the table at each other. In the midst of it, Qui-Gon seemed unruffled, but Vandalyn had noticed increasing discomfort in the rest of the group.

"And so you see, Master Jedi," said Bruva Dal, "why Bruva Tag should be declared our lawful ruler. Judge now! Cast your vote." As he spoke, the spiny ridge that transected his skull flared up a little and darkened in color.

"Bruva Tag will lead us to ruin," snapped Ressem Sa. "Ressem Ud is my brother and I know he would rule this world justly and for the people, not for his own gain. The vote will be for Ud not for Tag!"

"Ressem Ud knows nothing of rule," retorted Dal. "He purchased his position on the Doma-tasan, and we all know it. He is unfit to rule and buys his support; he does not earn it." A wave of irritated hissing circled the room, and Ressem Ud clenched his fists, furious at the accusation.

Qui-Gon stood up slowly and raised his hands for silence. "Enough," he said. For a moment they ignored him. Undisturbed, Qui-Gon drew upon a tiny portion of the Force and Vandalyn sensed him focus it. When he spoke again, there was significant emphasis behind his words despite the fact that he barely raised his voice.

"That's enough!" The room was silent in an instant, and all eyes turned to Qui-Gon.

"You have a decision, Master Jedi?" asked Bruva Tag, his eagerness palpable.

"As I informed the Doma-tasan when I arrived, a reasonable amount of days would be allocated for debate over this issue to allow all members to offer different ideas and ways to resolve this without my direct involvement with the vote. You have squandered three of them shouting and accomplished nothing."

There was an angry murmur in the room that set Vandalyn on edge. The Doma-tasan was not accustomed to being scolded.

"We will resume tomorrow at the regular gathering time. Padawan, come with me." Vandalyn rose gracefully and followed him quietly out of the room. The muttered, unflattering comments uttered by Bruva Dal and Ressem Sa as they left went ignored, but not unheard. They walked in silence back to their quarters. Without asking, Vandalyn started to prepare supper. She and Qui-Gon had fallen into an unspoken pattern of alternating the days when they each prepared meals.

"It will take a little time for our meal to cook. I find today's meeting has left me unsettled," said Vandalyn. "I think I will meditate for a short while before eating."

"Of course." Qui-Gon sounded distracted as well, but that did not surprise Vandalyn. She walked out to the garden and found a comfortable place to sit on the flat stones. They were specially designed to retain the heat of the sun and so they remained quite warm even after the sun had set. The sky was a deep blue-black and a few of the day's thin, wispy clouds could still be seen although the sun had disappeared an hour before.

Vandalyn sat down, cross-legged on the smooth, warm stones and arranged her robe around her so that there were no uncomfortable folds or lumps. She folded her hands in her lap and took three deep breaths as she tried to clear her mind and center her thoughts. She was not successful. When the quiet of meditation eluded her, Vandalyn allowed her thoughts to wander, hoping they would settle upon an object or an idea she could focus on, and from there delve into a deeper solitude.

Unbidden, Qui-Gon's face appeared in Vandalyn's mind's eye. Her shoulders dropped almost imperceptibly as she relaxed and her breathing deepened. In her mind, she pictured Qui-Gon in front of the Doma-tasan, his voice firm, his shoulders square, and the keen intellect she so admired clear in his sharp gaze. _I must admit, he is an impressive man…_ The thought was warm, colored by something – a feeling – she couldn't name for a moment. Then she flinched. It was… attraction.

Vandalyn jumped up. _Attracted? To Master Jinn? The arguments of the day have unsettled me and I am misreading my feelings. _She hurried back into the room, and Qui-Gon did not miss the consternation on her face. He waited for her to speak.

"Master? I find I am having some difficulty focusing. May I join you in a meditation?"

"Of course. It is not a bad thing to ask for aid from time to time, padawan," he said, sensing Vandalyn felt as if she had failed because she could not focus. "Each Jedi has moments where our thoughts and our focus are disturbed…" _Such as I have found my thoughts lately,_ he thought to himself.

"Thank you, Master."

"Before we begin, have some food. Our meal has finished cooking. I think you find it will be easier to focus when your stomach is not pinched with hunger." Qui-Gon handed her a bowl. It was filled with a steaming mix of _sittya_, a rice-like grain native to Dunal, and several different vegetables. As they ate, Vandalyn raised her eyes and looked across the table at Qui-Gon. His hair was lightly dusted with gray, even his beard, and as she looked at him, Vandalyn couldn't help but smile – he was, after all, an impressive man.

-- -- -- --

_Hello, I thought I would move my comments to the end so as not to interrupt the flow of the read for everyone. As always, thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter as well. I know sometimes you can feel something about someone and not realize it… then, there is that moment when you put a name to what you're feeling. After that, it becomes easier to accept what you feel rather than deny it (I know I, at least, have experienced that). I tried to convey that at the end with Vandalyn's sudden understanding that she felt an attraction to Qui-Gon. My hope is that I was not TOO subtle about it… As always, I welcome your thoughts and comments._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Qui-Gon was right. Having eaten her _sittya_ and quenched her thirst with some fruited water, Vandalyn felt much better, and the stress and chaos of the Doma-tasan seemed distant.

"Come," said Qui-Gon. He was seated on a thin pillow and gestured to one across from him. "You asked for help with your meditation, padawan. Be seated and we will begin."

"Thank you, Master."

He allowed her a moment to get situated and comfortable. "First, we will breathe." He inhaled deeply and held the air in his lungs for a moment before he allowed it to slowly escape back into the universe. He inhaled again, and this time Vandalyn matched his breath. The evening air that came from the open door was cool and touched with the light scent of a flower.

"We will begin this meditation with the Jedi Code," said Qui-Gon. "It is one of the things all younglings are taught when they first come to the Jedi. Often, even the most experienced Knights and Masters benefit from returning to the foundation of their training." Qui-Gon made himself more comfortable where he sat, pulling his shoulders up for a moment and then letting them settle down. He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing. When he began to speak again, Vandalyn's voice joined his.

"There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no chaos; there is harmony. There is no passion; there is serenity. There is no death; there is the Force." They repeated the Code twice more before growing silent again. Moments lingered on, and Qui-Gon was pleased. He, too, had found his thoughts distracted over this past week and he welcomed the opportunity to quiet his mind.

"Master?" Vandalyn's voice, although soft, seemed very loud as it overruled the near silence of the room.

Qui-Gon refrained from sighing. "Yes?"

"I am… still troubled."

"So it would seem."

Vandalyn hesitated for a moment, but finally said, "I find, as I have spoken the Code tonight, that I do not… agree… with some of it."

Qui-Gon's eyes snapped open; that statement was unexpected. She did not agree with the Jedi Code? "You have recited these words for many years. What is it you find unpalatable, padawan?"

"Unpalatable? No, that is not a word I would have chosen, but the Code says there is no emotion; there is peace. Yet, I see emotion throughout the Jedi. There is sadness when one passes. There is happiness and joy when one succeeds. I see pride and admiration. I even see anger."

"But what is anger other than a path to the Dark Side?" asked Qui-Gon.

"Master Windu uses his anger as a tool. He practices Vaapad as his light saber form, and Vaapad allows him to channel his inner darkness and anger. To practice that means that he comes close to the Dark Side."

"His mastery of the Force, and his strict concentration, allow him to successfully practice Vaapad without succumbing to the Dark Side."

"That is true, but the Code says that there is no emotion, yet obviously the Jedi do tap into emotion in order to advance their mastery and understanding of the Force. So, there lies the contradiction. If there is no emotion, how can one such as Master Windu channel anger through Vaapad?"

Qui-Gon did not allow the smile he felt to reach his lips, although the skin around his eyes crinkled ever so slightly. He'd had a similar conversation once with his own padawan. Obi-Wan had wrestled with the same contradictions. "You are interpreting the Code in a very literal manner. We say that there is no emotion; there is peace. My interpretation is that there is no _reckless_ emotion. When we understand our feelings and master them, we can find peace within. We are ruled by our choices and not by blind and raw emotion…"

"… and through that, a Jedi may find peace." Vandalyn nodded as she finished the answer herself.

"Yes," Qui-Gon confirmed. "Now, we will return to our meditation…" Three deep breaths later they teetered on reaching the next level of focus and oneness within the Force.

"Master?"

Qui-Gon almost felt like laughing, but found he could not. He kept his voice neutral. "Yes, padawan?"

"Is it impossible for serenity and passion to co-exist?"

"Passion can cloud judgment," answered Qui-Gon, realizing that Vandalyn was still mired in her questioning of the Jedi Code.

"But can it not also inspire one to selfless action, and through selflessness can one not find serenity?"

"Entirely possible, but can it not also inspire selfishness and possessiveness and through that, destroy serenity?"

"Unchecked, yes it could," said Vandalyn thoughtfully. "But we just spoke about emotion in moderation. Passion is simply an emotion like any other. Could you not balance passion and serenity?"

Qui-Gon remained silent for a moment, considering his answer. "Yes, you could… but there is little room for error in that path."

Vandalyn, too, was silent as she turned his answer over in her mind, pondering what he'd said. "Thank you, Master. I am merely trying to think in possibilities. Forgive me for interrupting the meditation; it will not happen again…" She looked up at him and smiled. "…At least not tonight."

A few hours later, Qui-Gon sighed as he settled into his bed and pulled a blanket up. He was exhausted, and he wasn't sure if he was more worn out from the Doma-tasan, who were proving to be more difficult than he expected, or from Vandalyn. She was an excellent student, and he knew Usa Tabor must be very proud of her, but he found that she challenged his focus without even meaning to, and that had not happened for many years. Feeling his eyes grow heavy, Qui-Gon allowed his head to sink deeper into the pillow and invited sleep to take his concerns away for at least a few hours….

_The woman was warm in his arms, and as he bent his head to kiss her shoulder she began to turn. The brush of her skin nearly sizzled as he realized that she was naked. When she turned her face to him she smiled and he leaned closer to kiss her. "You are so beautiful, Vandalyn…"_

Qui-Gon's eyes flew open as he gasped. He lay still in the bed, the image of Vandalyn in his arms still sharp in his mind. Sitting up, Qui-Gon ran his hands through his hair and then rested them on his knees. His heart still pounded from the vivid images of his dream_. By the Force! Am I losing my mind? No… no, I know I am sane, but perhaps… The Jedi often dream of future events…_ He shook his head as if the sharp motion would clear the thoughts from his mind. _No. This is no vision of the future. My mind is merely still processing Vandalyn's questions about emotion and passion; there is nothing else to it._

When Qui-Gon lay back down, however, he found himself wondering if he would dream about her again. As he succumbed to sleep, the last thing he remembered thinking was that he had been… disappointed… when he realized that Vandalyn was not really in his arms.

-- -- -- --

_The next two weeks, I'm away on business quite a bit so I probably won't get the chance to post anything else until after I'm back... but I promise, as soon as I get home, I'll get started again. As always, I'd love to get your feedback on the things you like… and about anything that doesn't quite ring true. I hope you like this chapter!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The morning came quickly, more quickly than Qui-Gon would have liked. He came out of his room and rested his hands on the low counter. His sleep had been restless, disturbed by the lack of progress by the Doma-tasan, disturbed, especially, by Vandalyn's appearance in his dreams. Intent on a cup of _ja_ – a warm, spicy drink favored by the Dunali – before heading back to the Doma-tasan, Qui-Gon tried to appreciate the silence of the morning. The cup was in his hand when he noticed something outside.

He moved to the clear door that looked out over the garden. On the smooth stones of the patio was Vandalyn. Dressed in a white kurta and some loose fitting pants, she slowly lunged out, putting her weight onto her right leg and letting her left leg extend behind her. She extended her arms in the same fashion: her right arm out in front of her, and her left arm behind her. With her eyes shut, she remained in that position for several minutes. Then she slowly brought her legs together as she stood up, and raised her arms above her head.

As she stood in this position, her eyes closed, facing the sun, Qui-Gon slid the door open and came out onto the patio to watch. After another few minutes, Vandalyn leaned forward at the waist. As she did, she raised her right leg up behind her much higher than Qui-Gon expected. Then she reached back with her hands, and took a hold of her foot, drawing it up even higher until it touched her head. Qui-Gon could not help but stare. It was an impressive display of strength, balance and concentration.

Without opening her eyes, Vandalyn said, "This is _an'dah sho_, a form of meditation from my home world that enhances focus, strength, balance and grace."

Qui-Gon smiled. "You seem quite competent in it, and I see where it would benefit your chosen pursuits with your light saber forms. Each of the qualities you name has a place in perfecting the art of wielding a light saber."

"There is another form, called _an'dah dan_, which uses a weapon. A sword. Children practice with a replica, but each family has an original sword that is used when the child is tested in all competencies. The testing sword is a family heirloom – belonging to all members of the family – that is passed along through the generations." As she spoke, Vandalyn released her right leg and repeated the same position using her left one.

Qui-Gon had finished his cup of _ja_ by the time she brought her raised leg down again. Vandalyn raised her hands above her head and pressed her palms together. Then she slowly lowered them to the sides until her arms rested gently by her sides again. She smiled at Qui-Gon and he marked the good humor and satisfaction that his meditation had brought her.

_Perhaps I should learn some of this an'dah sho,_ he thought.

"I will change immediately, Master," said Vandalyn, "so that I do not delay your attendance at the Doma-tasan."

"There is time; have a good breakfast. I think today will be another long day."

He was not wrong.

The shouting and accusations continued unabated. Vandalyn was grateful for all of the times Usa Tabor had reminded her to school her expressions and not reveal what she was thinking the instant the thought crossed her mind. What really amazed her was the fact that really only a few of the Dunali on the Doma-tasan were the ones making the entire racket. The majority of the Doma-tasan sat as silent as the two Jedi, observing, thinking, watching, judging.

"Come… you who side with Ressem Ud. You know in your hearts he would bleed our world dry." Bruva Dal was a passionate speaker, and he had spent hours consulting with the highest ranking member of his caste and family, Bruva Tag. The Doma-tasan would consider it arrogant and distasteful if Tag argued for his own worth, so his supporters must be the ones who convince the others to change their minds.

"Ressem Ud?" snapped Ressem Sa. "You delude yourselves. Bruva Tag wishes to live in luxury and comfort, and reward the fawning sycophants who lap at his feet. Who would bleed Dunal faster?" The members of the Doma-tasan who supported Bruva Tag grumbled.

Vandalyn turned her attention to the others. Both sides were frowning and Vandalyn could sense their unease and discomfort. The feeling grew heavier as the day wore on and the arguments circled around the same topics over and over. She admired Qui-Gon for his focus; it was amazing to her that he remained attentive, but he needed to. More and more it was looking as if Qui-Gon would cast the vote that would decide Dunal's future.

Four days stretched into five. Five days. Five days of shouting, of accusations, of veiled threats. Vandalyn was ready to tell the Doma-tasan that they were, collectively, the largest bunch of fools she had ever been forced to suffer. _But,_ she thought, _that is why I am a padawan and Qui-Gon is the Master. He has not allowed this foolishness to affect him as I have allowed it to eat at me._

Little did Vandalyn know, Qui-Gon felt almost exactly the same as she did. He was extraordinarily tired of the ceaseless bickering of the Doma-tasan. _They are more interested in drama and innuendo than they are in choosing an appropriate ruler. They are not going to come to a decision on their own; as much as I wish to not interfere, I no longer have a choice._

Finally, Qui-Gon stopped the discussion. "This has gone on long enough, and I believe we could each use a respite. Go home to your families. We will convene again tomorrow."

As they all left the room, Bruva Dal signaled discreetly to Qui-Gon and whispered something in his ear. Qui-Gon nodded and bowed to Dal.

Most of the way back to their quarters, Vandalyn remained silent. Finally, as they entered the common area she said, "Am I misreading the situation, Master, or does the Doma-tasan seem less interested in who would be the best ruler rather than seeing leadership as a means to prestige?"

"You are not wrong, padawan. Neither Bruva Tag or Ressem Ud would be good for this world. Their advocates actually tell the truth about the other candidate. Tag would ignore the needs of the lower castes to enrich his own coffers. Ud, despite his protestations of being an ambassador to the galaxy, has a deep militaristic streak. He would eventually begin a war over any number of convoluted reasons." Qui-Gon sat in one of the chairs and Vandalyn chose the one adjacent to him.

"The others. They care, but seem unwilling to speak up. They do not see the same things you do?" she asked.

"They do see it, but Tag and Ud are very powerful."

"Then their world is doomed to greed and war. How do you choose between them?" If the decision was up to her, Vandalyn wasn't sure she could cast a vote for either.

"You do not choose, padawan. You create an alternative solution." The answer was simple, matter of fact, but it alluded to many possibilities. Vandalyn sat up a little straighter.

"You have a plan."

Qui-Gon turned to look at her, a small smile giving his eyes a bit of a twinkle that amused Vandalyn. Mischievous was not a word everyone would associate with Qui-Gon Jinn, but it was the only word that suited the expression on his face. "There is Zava Ur. He is young but he is intelligent and canny. His wish is for Dunal to thrive, not simply to cushion his own existence or raise the status of his family. If his friend, Nimat Ilo, were to propose Ur as the leader, I think they would find they have support from unexpected places."

"I am not convinced," answered Vandalyn, "that Zava Ur's name would be brought forward. Speculating on support can be risky, and both Tag and Sa would remember his interference."

"You raise a good point, padawan. Ur's nomination would have to be… _inspired_… but if it was offered, he understands the machinations of the Doma-tasan well enough to protect himself, despite the fact that he joined the ruling body only recently." Qui-Gon stood up from his desk, and looked sideways at Vandalyn again. The thoughtful expression on her face told him that she was about to grasp what he was hinting.

"Before we left, Bruva Dal approached me. Through Dal, Tag has asked for a private audience with me. I believe he thinks that he can better appeal to my sensibilities in a quiet setting. Plus, this will give him the privacy to speak to me directly without offending the rest of the Doma-tasan."

"Ressem Ud will not be pleased with this turn," said Vandalyn.

"No," agreed Qui-Gon. "What he will do is – once he learns of this meeting – send Ressem Sa to also request a private audience. The game continues as we move towards the end gambit, which now appears will be mine so I will need to make the best use of it. Tag will arrive here shortly. I think, perhaps, he would be more comfortable with a private meeting, since it would be beneath him to be heard advocating for himself."

Vandalyn smiled. "There is a water garden near where the Doma-tasan meets. I have seen Zava Ur and Nimat Ilo retire there during session breaks. I have not had the time to explore the garden more fully… I think it would be a place where one could find much… _inspiration._"

"I suspect you are correct, padawan." Qui-Gon bowed to her briefly and turned away to prepare for his meeting with Tag.

"Then I shall give you some privacy." Vandalyn bowed respectfully, but then smiled at Qui-Gon as she left.

-- -- -- --

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far... I've just realized that the review notification for must be out of whack because there are several posted reviews that I didn't realize were there! As always, I hope you're all still enjoying the story, whether or not you've elected to review. But, o__f course, I do appreciate the feedback so please, let me know what you think… I'm leaving on Tuesday for a business trip and I won't be back until the weekend, so unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to post anything else for at least a week (unless I get lucky and can post something tomorrow night...)_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The garden near the Doma-tasan's meeting hall was nearly a full acre in size. Paths made of smooth stone meandered through lush greenery dotted with flowers and heavily laden fruit trees. Several small streams and delicate waterfalls added some motion and soothing sounds, and where the paths and the water intersected, there were small, gently arched wooden bridges.

Vandalyn enjoyed the quiet as she walked past some flowering bushes. Stopping from time to time she examined blooms that caught her eye. Finally, she came upon a wooden bench that was nestled among some vines which were covered by purple flowers. The tendrils curled gently along the back of the bench. Across from her was a statue of what appeared to be two Dunali in an intimate dance. The forms were vague, only representations of true bodies, but just real enough to be understood. They flowed around and into each other, and the heads hovered so closely together it would have been difficult to fit a feather between them. The stone they were carved from was a cream color with silver and gold flecks and veins running through it.

Vandalyn sat down and examined the statue for some time before finally closing her eyes, listening to the water sing as it skipped down the rocks, dropping into the water pool near her. It was a quiet and serene place and she welcomed the opportunity to drink in the near silence and collect her thoughts. She found herself thinking of that evening's dinner, and the time she would spend with Qui-Gon…_When did I start thinking of him as Qui-Gon and not Master Jinn, _she wondered.

The sound of feet on the path near her made Vandalyn look up. Her patience was rewarded when Nimat Ilo and his own clan-brother, Nimat Aba, came around the corner.

"Jedi Apprentice," Aba said. "It is nice to see you." The Dunali frequently called Qui-Gon "Jedi Master" but had seemed to have difficulty simply referring to her as a padawan. The Doma-tasan had settled on referring to her as "Jedi Apprentice" and had done so from the first meeting.

"This is a lovely garden," she answered. "I am grateful to have the time to enjoy it."

"We frequently come here to find peace amid the storm of the day," said Ilo.

"It is a good place for that. I find it is easier to reflect on all that I have seen and heard when I am surrounded by the sound of the water. Sometimes the silence can lead to inspiring ideas."

Ilo and Aba both gave her a measured look, catching a note in her voice. "Has such inspiration struck you, Jedi Apprentice?" asked Ilo.

"It has given me time to reflect on the things that Bruva Tag and Ressem Ud have said over the past few days."

"Really? I think they have said little of substance and shouted much nonsense," snorted Aba. Ilo gave him a measured look and Aba fell silent. Vandalyn was wise enough not to smile.

"They have done their share of shouting," she said with a serious face. "But I wonder why no others in the Doma-tasan have been nominated. The day when Master Jinn will cast his vote approaches."

"Nominating someone else could split the Doma-tasan even more," said Ilo, "and take votes away from either Tag or Sa. Then the other would win through a simple majority, and the Master Jedi's efforts would have been wasted." Ilo did not give voice to his fears that Sa would prevail. He would prefer Tag and his indulgences over a leader who would grow more bloodthirsty, if there was no other choice, but he was no friend of Tag's either. For Ilo, choosing between the two was simply a matter of measuring which represented the lesser evil.

"A true possibility," she agreed. "But one must wonder what would happen if a vote was cast for… let us say, Zava Ur."

"Zava Ur?" Stillness settled over Nimat Ilo.

"I was simply wondering," replied Vandalyn as she offered earnest smile, "what would happen if something so… unexpected… were to occur. Zava Ur seems to be well qualified and intelligent. Someone of his nature may find he has more support than he realized."

"Your idea is most interesting, Jedi Apprentice," said Nimat Aba.

Vandalyn smiled at him. "Thank you, as a Jedi I find pondering different possibilities to be a good way to sharpen my mind and my insights. However, as much as I would enjoy continuing to theorize with you, I'm afraid I must return to my quarters; Master Jinn will be expecting me." She stood and bowed respectfully to the two Dunali men. "I have found that the universe does grant us unexpected opportunities, but one must find the inner inspiration to heed them. May the Force be with you." She disappeared around the corner a moment later.

"Aba, find Zava Ur for me, and while I talk to him find Fosat Ela, Veelas Ak, Nannal Oir, and Cadai Zu," said Nimat Ilo. "I am feeling… inspired."

Back at her quarters, Vandalyn found the Dunali men gone and Qui-Gon Jinn outside practicing his light saber forms. He was an accomplished sword-master, but Ataru was his favorite, and the form he was most proficient at. The physical demands of Ataru, and the use of wide, sweeping slashes with the light saber required a certain amount of open space.

Qui-Gon Jinn worked slowly, deliberately, putting focus and thought into each move. He turned, raising the light saber at an angle over his head, and then brought it down in front of him. It was a defensive move that could repel either a saber thrust or a blaster bolt. The move was followed by two slashing strokes and a powerful leap to the left. He landed solidly and turned in a flash, moving quickly across the patio stones amidst a flurry of slashes and parries. Vandalyn smiled. It was a pleasure to watch him. She was an expert in Soresu, and was well on her way to mastering Ataru, but as she watched the smooth confidence of Qui-Gon's steps, she realized how much more she had to learn.

Qui-Gon was aware of Vandalyn the moment she came out onto the patio even though his back was to her in that instant. He'd become increasingly aware of the feel of her energy within the weaving patterns of Force energy. He lunged forward and then brought his light saber back, an aggressive attack followed by a dramatic reversed block. He was showing off a little, and he knew it, but he didn't let the realization disturb his form or show in his expression.

For her part, Vandalyn realized that watching Qui-Gon reminded her of the lovers statue in the garden. _His moves are as fluid as the lines of that statue… And he brings a power, a sens… _She flinched and refocused her thoughts, refusing to let the word "sensuality" fully form in her mind. _I should not think of him like that…_

"You practice Ataru?" asked Qui-Gon as he finished his form.

"I do, but I am not as adept as you," Vandalyn answered.

He smiled. "I am older than you." The answer was matter of fact, but touched with a dusting of sarcastic humor.

"Master Tabor gave me an adept rating in Soresu, and I after I achieved that I began studying Ataru."

They started to walk back inside, and as they did, Qui-Gon asked, "What is it about Ataru that appeals to you?"

She thought for a moment. "I like the openness in it. The sweeping use of the light saber. I must confess there is a flair to it that I find appealing."

"I think you will master Ataru quickly. Your pursuit of your _ah'dan_ will give you an advantage over other students," said Qui-Gon. Then he changed subjects. "Did you find anything inspiring in the garden?"

"Aside from an intriguing statue? Yes, I did. I had a brief philosophical discussion with Nimat Ilo and Nimat Aba." Vandalyn started to yawn, but stifled it quickly.

Again, Qui-Gon smiled. "It has been a long day, hasn't it? Go and get some sleep, Vandalyn. Tomorrow will be an even longer day."

She nodded and headed to her room. As she got to the door, Vandalyn stopped and looked back over her shoulder. Qui-Gon was sitting in one of the chairs, studiously looking down at a handheld computer pad. Vandalyn thought back to the garden and what she said to Nimat Ilo: I have found that the universe does grant us unexpected opportunities, but one must find the inner inspiration to heed them.

_Perhaps it is time to take my own advice,_ she thought.

As if he'd heard her, Qui-Gon looked up. "Yes, padawan?"

"Just a thought," she answered. "Good night… Master Jinn."

"Sleep well, Vandalyn."

-- -- -- --

_Ah, at last. Another chapter. As always, thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who have taken the time to review my story… and thanks also to those of you who have simply taken the time to read it. I appreciate your interest and your feedback. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and I'm looking forward to hearing what you think. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Both Qui-Gon and Vandalyn began the day with a sunrise meditation. Knowing that Qui-Gon would finally cast his vote helped them both focus. It would likely be a difficult day and they would both need to have their wits about them. When the members of the Doma-tasan began to arrive, they found both Jedi seated at the table and waiting for them. It was early in the afternoon.

Zava Ur came in the room and paused. "Good day, Jedi Master, Jedi Apprentice."

"Zava Ur." Qui-Gon nodded.

A few moments later, Nimat Ilo arrived. Ressem Sa was with him and Ilo did not look pleased because Sa was berating him for not switching his support to Ressem Ud. As they passed the Jedi, Ilo stopped and Ressem Sa continued on to his seat. Ilo nodded to the Jedi.

"I am relieved that this affair will be finished today. I trust you have made a wise choice, perhaps even an inspired one, Jedi Master. If not, then Dunal's future is cloudy and my reputation will be tarnished beyond repair." Nimat Ilo's face was serious and thoughtful. He did not wait for Qui-Gon to respond, but continued on and took his seat. He nodded a greeting to Zava Ur as he sat down.

Qui-Gon leaned towards Vandalyn slightly. "Be wary of Ressem Sa and Ressem Ud. I do not believe they will restrain their emotions once the vote has been cast." He kept his voice low.

"Yes, Master. I will not disappoint you."

The meeting began with the usual and customary greetings, pleasantries and a few mundane details to settle that could be discussed by the Doma-tasan itself without a presiding Doma. Finally the question of leadership finally arrived.

"As you know," said Qui-Gon, "I had hoped that the Doma-tasan could – through enlightened discussion – come to a decision about the new Doma without my influence. I've realized that will not happen. Both camps are too firmly entrenched with their candidate, so after much thought and meditation, I have come to a conclusion and have decided on my vote."

Sitting around the oval table, the Doma-tasan all stared at Qui-Gon expectantly. Bruva Tag and Ressem Ud leaned forward in anticipation. Still Qui-Gon said nothing in the pressing silence. Finally, Ressem Sa asked the question. "You have reached a decision, Jedi Master?"

"I have," answered Qui-Gon. He kept his voice neutral and was somewhat pleased to see Sa shift with irritation._ Let him be irritated and impatient,_ thought Qui-Gon although he knew it was petty of him,_ he has been one of the worst at drawing this out._

"Then who has earned your vote? Bruva Tag or Ressem Ud?" That question came from Bruva Dal.

Qui-Gon stood slowly, putting his palms on the cool table. Next to him, Vandalyn slowly slid one hand over to rest near her light saber. She did not trust some of the members of the Doma-tasan to take Qui-Gon's decision quietly. After making them all wait for another moment, Qui-Gon looked around the table and said, "I cast my vote for Zava Ur."

As anticipated, the room erupted. There was so much shouting; one voice couldn't be distinguished above the other.

Finally it was Ressem Ud whose voice dominated the others. "What sort of game is this Jedi? You cannot vote for Zava Ur!"

"I can, Ud, and I have cast my vote. There is no law that says I must back either of the two most vocal candidates. My duty is to back the most qualified candidate."

Ressem Ud's crest flared aggressively and he took a step towards Qui-Gon. That was enough for Vandalyn. She was on her feet in the same moment, her light saber active and in the first defensive position of Soresu. The hum and flash of the light saber stilled the room. Qui-Gon nodded in approval. He'd been prepared to silence them using the Force, but Vandalyn's method was just as effective and her body posture clearly showed that she would defend him if needed, but would not attack.

"Peace, padawan. You may put the light saber away." Qui-Gon gave Ressem Ud a hard look. "I am certain no one on the Doma-tasan has violence on their mind." Ud backed slightly and Vandalyn deactivated her weapon.

"I repeat, I cast my vote for Zava Ur." Qui-Gon's voice was firm and confident.

"I, too, will vote for Zava Ur," said Nimat Ilo as he stood up. A whisper hurried around the table and then, as a group, Fosat Ela, Veelas Ak, Nannal Oir, and Cadai Zu all stood up. Zava Ur kept his eyes down lest he look over confident.

"I speak for all of us," said Cadai Zu. "We all cast our votes for Zava Ur." Ressem Ud was livid and he glared. Cadai Zu glared back.

Bruva Tag watched the interaction and made a split-second decision. "I, too, will support Zava Ur," he said. Next to him Bruva Dal sputtered with shock and consternation, but that was nothing compared to the angry shout that erupted from Ressem Ud as he realized his opportunity to become Doma was all but gone.

Vandalyn smiled. "Zava Ur holds the majority with ten votes, Master."

"Then by the laws set forth by the original Doma-tasan, I declare that Zava Ur is now the lawfully elected Doma of Dunal. As my last act as mediator, I yield the floor to Zava Ur."

"Today's session is dissolved. We will reconvene in two days, for I think we all have much to consider and adjust to," said Ur. "And we will begin to finally move our world forward again." He looked at Qui-Gon and offered a bow, knowing the Jedi would appreciate the gesture of respect. "My gratitude, Jedi Master. I appreciate the faith you have placed in me; I hope I will not disappoint you."

"Just do not disappoint yourself or your people and I will be satisfied," said Qui-Gon.

"I would appreciate your continued presence and support for a short time," said Zava Ur. "I think most of the Doma-tasan will be reasonable, but there may be some who are reluctant to accept the new state of our government." He did not mention Ressem Ud by name.

"Of course. A Jedi serves where needed," said Qui-Gon with a bow.

-- -- -- --

_Bet you're all surprised… another chapter so soon? I had a little extra time and this chapter was pretty well formed. I hope you enjoy it, and as always, please let me know what you think!_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The late afternoon sun bathed the central area of the room. Both were pleased with the results of the Doma-tasan's vote earlier that afternoon and had returned to their quarters in high spirits. As the afternoon wore into evening, both of them decided, almost at the same time, that some quiet introspection was needed. Qui-Gon began his meditation first, finding a comfortable place in the sitting room. Vandalyn began her meditation shortly after he did, electing to sit on the floor within the pool of sunlight. It was warm there and, in addition to her focusing exercises, she felt the sun's warmth begin to relax her shoulders.

_What an amazing morning._ Even knowing what Qui-Gon would do, Vandalyn had been on the edge of her seat. Her reaction to Ressem Ud's veiled threat had been virtually instinctive. _I would not have let him harm Qui-Gon. That would have been unacceptable. _She paused in her thoughts as the image of Qui-Gon standing at the table after his announcement. While there had been no hint of aggression in his stance or his voice, there had been steel in it. There had been no question that Qui-Gon had made his decision and was confident in it.

_What would happen,_ she wondered, _if we were more than two Jedi? What would it be like to be near him… to be with him?_ _I've seen him watch me as much as I've watched him. Am I missing an opportunity, a possibility? What would happen…? _A blush crept up her cheeks and she realized her breathing had quickened.

Qui-Gon should not be able to hear her breathing, but he could. In the deep solitude of his meditation, he should be alone with the silence and the vastness of the universe, not aware that he sat in a small room with Usa Tabor's padawan across from him. _She continues to confound me_, he thought. _I have not had such trouble centering since I was a padawan myself. Vandalyn is often in my thoughts, even when I know they should be intent on something else. _Even as these thoughts demanded his attention, he pictured Vandalyn in his mind's eye: the knowing spark when she understood his plan for the Doma-tasan, the way she had watched him as he practiced his Ataru forms…

Shifting, Qui-Gon drew in a deep breath and focused again on his meditation. It did not work. Across the room, Vandalyn felt the shift in his consciousness, the slight puzzlement. She found herself in the same situation as Qui-Gon Jinn without fully realizing it. Her meditations had not gone well since she found him here on Dunal, and her thoughts often turned to the growing attraction she felt for him as had happened during this meditation. She opened her eyes and was unsurprised to find him watching her from across the low table that separated them within the room.

She allowed herself the luxury of studying his face for a moment. A neatly trimmed beard framed a strong face. His brown hair was dusted with gray and he kept it pulled back on the sides, a rather conservative and traditional style for a Jedi. But it was his eyes that always interested and captured her the most; within them she could see wisdom, intelligence, curiosity, and – on rare occasion – humor. He started to close them again, prepared for one more attempt at meditation.

"May I ask a question, Master?"

"Of course," said Qui-Gon without looking up; he was growing accustomed to her questions for they always seemed to come when they were trying to meditate.

"A Jedi is taught to listen to his or her feelings. When faced with a lack of data, feelings will illuminate the right course to take. We are taught that if we are confronted with a difficult decision, we should meditate on it and trust our feelings, is that not so?"

"It is one of the first things you were taught, padawan." He got to his feet and walked over to access the computer's database, giving up the pretense of being able to focus and meditate. "You were also taught that feelings and emotions that are in balance will illuminate. Strong feelings can blind you." Qui-Gon suddenly wondered why his own words sounded so important.

"We are also taught," Vandalyn said, "that once your decision is made, you should – unless prudence is required – be bold in your action." She stood as well and stretched for a moment as she spoke.

"Yes," answered Qui-Gon as he came back to the center of the room. "In hesitance, opportunity can be lost."

"And even in times where prudence should be followed, bold action may still be the best path to take… for sometimes the universe grants an opportunity that – if squandered – will be lost forever save through bold and decisive action."

Qui-Gon was puzzled. "Why do you follow this path of thought, padawan? While what you say is true, it becomes circular. Eventually one must decide what action should be taken, especially if there is – as you say – an unexpected opportunity… You must trust your instincts and your feelings to guide you to the decision that will bring the greatest good and least evil."

As he was speaking, Vandalyn crossed the room to stand behind him. "I follow it because I believe I stand at the brink of an opportunity and the time for bold action has arrived."

Qui-Gon turned, intent on questioning Vandalyn further, sensing that delving deeper into her thoughts would hold a key to his own recent questions. He was surprised find her that close to him and almost stepped back. Vandalyn, desperate to maintain her courage, took a deep breath and embraced her own advice: bold action. She put her hands on either side of Qui-Gon's face and kissed him.

It was not often that Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn was taken aback or rendered speechless, but this padawan utterly confounded him. His serenity had been ruffled ever since Vandalyn Mateo had entered his world, and the wellspring of feelings that erupted as she kissed him instantly illuminated the source of his consternation: Despite his resistance and denials, he was deeply and fully attracted to her as a woman, just she was – obviously – attracted to him. It had been so long since Qui-Gon had allowed those feelings much latitude that he had forgotten how strong they could be, or even that he possessed them at all.

Shocked not only by the kiss but also by the thoughts it surfaced in his mind, Qui-Gon lost any pretense of control, and pushed Vandalyn away.

-- -- -- --

_I've been on virtual fire this weekend, but don't get your hopes up. Tomorrow is Monday so it is back to the "9 to 5er" that will keep me occupied. I tried to leave this chapter with a bit of a hook that will hopefully keep you eagerly awaiting more (or, perhaps, cursing me for leaving you hanging). In either event, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think… both what I did well and where I may have room to improve._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The force of Qui-Gon's shove made Vandalyn step back. She looked at his confounded expression and her cheeks flamed. _Have I misjudged? Doesn't he feel that same deep, abiding pull that I do? By the Force, he sees me only as a padawan, nothing more. What have I done?_ "Forgive me, Master… My judgment is lacking. I…" She stepped away and turned her face so he would not see her humiliation, and it took all of her discipline to not simply run away. She did not get far.

"Wait!" Almost without thinking, Qui-Gon reached out and grabbed her arm. He hadn't meant to push her… The last thing he wanted to do was push her away. He pulled her back towards him and into his arms. She stiffened, not knowing what to do. Qui-Gon searched her face, seeing the resistance, the confusion, the hope and the… desire. Cupping her chin, he bent his head and returned the kiss. It was not a long kiss, but it was powerful. When they broke apart he noticed for the first time that her hazel eyes held a remarkable mixture of green and gold flecks that were blended into their own unique mosaic.

"The Jedi Council is uncomfortable with a relationship like this between fully ranked Jedi. They would never condone it between a full Jedi Knight and a padawan," he said. "If we continue this and are discovered, the Council will punish us both harshly." _If we continue? IF? By the Force what am I saying? _He did not, however, stop holding Vandalyn in his arms.

Vandalyn dropped her eyes. "I know… I am sorry I have put you in this position, Master Jinn." She reverted back to formality to mask her confused feelings. He finally released her and stepped back, but let his hand run down her arm, not wanting her to feel rejected.

"We both need to think on what may have started here, Vandalyn." Just as she called him Master, he used her first name deliberately. "Things do not happen by accident, but now? Now we must both decide. Do we continue? Do we walk away? Think on it tonight, Vandalyn, and I will do the same."

"Yes. Yes, that would be the wise and prudent course," she agreed, still avoiding his eyes. She stepped away, turned, and fled towards her room. Qui-Gon did not pursue her. Instead, he sat down in one of the chairs and ran a hand over his hair, and wondered if any amount of meditation would ever allow him to find his center again.

The room Vandalyn slept in was small but comfortable. There was room only for the bed, and small desk and chair. A concealed area in the wall offered a space for her clothing, but being a Jedi padawan, she had few possessions. As she sat cross-legged on her bed, Vandalyn untied her chestnut hair and let it hang down, and then she rubbed her temples.

_What was I thinking? I… kissed Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Kissed him! Have I learned so little as a padawan? I should rule my emotions, not the other way around._ Her fingers touched her lips lightly. _But, he kissed me back… _The memory of the kiss brought a delighted, confused flutter to her stomach.

"My feelings are in turmoil," she said out loud, allowing the sound of her voice to focus her attention. "I will regain my center and then I will decide what I am to do." She got comfortable on the bed, shut her eyes, and allowed herself to float into her meditation. She did not pressure herself to meditate deeply; she knew that would only lead to frustration.

_Am I in love with him? No… yes… not yet._ Vandalyn sighed. _I am attracted to him; there is no question about that. He is intelligent and handsome, and strong. But love? I am in the newest blushes of love, I think. So new that I would be embarrassed to say the words; they would sound premature and false. _She thought of how it felt to be held in Qui-Gon's arms. She remembered how her heart had constricted when she realized he was going to kiss her, and she felt it constrict again.

She stood up. "Yes," she said out loud, although she kept her voice soft. "I do want this, but I have put him in a terribly complicated position. Whatever decision Qui-Gon reaches, he must reach it on his own."

Vandalyn remained seated on her bed for another few minutes and then realized she could not hide forever. She quickly shed her Jedi robes and pulled on the kurta and pants she wore for _an'dah sho._ As she walked out of her room, she tied her hair up in a rough knot. Qui-Gon was nowhere to be seen. Walking out onto the patio stones, Vandalyn looked back over her shoulder, wondering where Qui-Gon was and what he was thinking.

After Vandalyn had first disappeared into her room, Qui-Gon had quickly come to the conclusion that he could not sit and brood. He needed to do something, almost anything, other than sit and wait for Vandalyn to emerge. He went to the patio door and stopped. There wasn't enough room there for what he needed. Instead, he left the room and found another open area that offered plenty of open space for his Ataru forms. By the time he was done, he was soaked with sweat and breathing heavily.

When he returned to the quarters he shared with Vandalyn, he saw the door to the garden open. A whisper of movement told him Vandalyn was out there practicing her _an'dah sho. _He did not disturb her. Rather, he went to his quarters and immersed himself in a hot shower. Standing under the spray, Qui-Gon pictured Vandalyn going through her forms. He sighed. _Will she be in my mind forever? Would that be such a terrible thing?_

After he dried himself from the shower, Qui-Gon decided against another meditation. Sleep would be the best thing for him. Resting both his body and mind would clear them. He could meditate with the sunrise and make his decision then. But, in the deepest part of the night, when the blackness takes on a velvet quality, Qui-Gon found he could not sleep. He put his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling – although he could not see it – and thought about the day.

"It would be folly," he whispered out loud. "Utter folly. To take a padawan as a lover? I cannot predict what the Council would do." _How have I come here? I have spent years keeping my feelings in check, striving for balance and harmony. In the matter of several weeks, my walls have been broken down by one padawan. It has been so many years since I've been so… attracted… to a woman. Since I have wanted a woman in that way..._

His thoughts drifted to Vandalyn. He'd found her covertly watching her while she worked or meditated. He realized that he had known all along where the feelings were leading, and had kept a firm leash on them. This was not something he could start. Suddenly her kiss leaped to his thoughts. It sent a wave through him. A thousand emotions he hadn't yet sorted out… desire, confusion, passion… even lust, if he was being honest.

"They can punish me if they like," he said to himself. "Vandalyn is right, even at times when prudence should be used, bold action may still be the best course… but she must want this, too. She must be willing to bear the consequences as I am."

He quickly rose, pulled on one of his robes, belted it loosely around his waist, and left his sleeping quarters. He walked across the common room, the cool tiles giving way to the thick carpet in the center of the room. It was soft and warm beneath his bare soles. For a moment, Qui-Gon hesitated when he reached Vandalyn's room. He knocked softly, unsure if he wanted her to hear him or not.

-- -- -- --

_Hope you're still enjoying it… I'd really appreciate any feedback that you have… And many thanks, as always, to my regular reviewers. I do enjoy hearing from all of you._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Vandalyn froze in the middle of turning a page in her book when she heard the soft knock at the door. Some of her surprise was that he knocked and didn't use the chime on the exterior touch pad; the rest came from knowing that Qui-Gon was on the other side of the door.

"Come in," she said.

The door slid open and Qui-Gon looked in. Curled on the bed, Vandalyn put her book down. She, too, wore a light robe. Her hair was loose and fell past her shoulders. Normally she kept it tightly braided in a herringbone braid, except for the long, thin braid that marked her as a padawan; Qui-Gon had never seen it down and loose before. It was longer than he expected.

He came in after a moment and sat on the edge of the bed, rather than in the chair. "I have been troubled this afternoon," he said after a short pause. Vandalyn remained still and quiet, deliberately not moving, lest she betray her anxiety. She found, however, that she could not remain silent.

"How so, Master?" She couldn't quite bring herself to use his name at that moment.

"The consequences of this afternoon – and of this conversation – could be far reaching. And, they could be severe." He wondered, for a brief moment, what Master Yoda would think of this. "Yet, they could also be more rewarding than anything we've ever known. I have been reminded of feelings I have not examined for a very long time."

_Attraction… uncertainty… affection… desire… longing… _Each one played through his mind as he talked to her and – true to his Jedi teaching – Qui-Gon tried to allow each to pass within him observed, understood and welcomed; a constant stream of emotion rather than a violent flood. His calm and center returned, and Qui-Gon sighed.

Vandalyn looked at her hands. She had never wanted to cause Qui-Gon distress, and she felt badly that he had struggled so much. "Master, I…"

He raised his hand slightly, gesturing her gently to silence. "Each time I consider the consequences, I find I reach the same conclusion… I would pursue this path with you, Vandalyn." _There. The words are spoken. Loose in the universe, they cannot be undone._ "But I need to know something," he continued. "Why? What has brought you here? Of all the men, Jedi or not, why did you choose me?"

Her brow wrinkled. "Do we ever choose who we have feelings for or who we might grow to… love?" A tiny smile quirked his mouth. Was she really going to delve into a true philosophical discussion with him?

"Why did you choose me?" Qui-Gon repeated the question, but there was no impatience in his voice only determined persistence.

"You intrigue me, you engage me. Your perceptions and your analysis of people and situations combine logic and your vast, intuitive understanding of the Force." She paused. "And you are a rebel."

"A rebel?"

"Yes, but one of the best kind. I have heard stories, and I have seen myself, how you often oppose the wishes of the Council. You challenge their rulings and their direction, but you do it to make us all better as a whole, to make sure that the Jedi do not become narrow-minded and focused on only one thing.

"In my own observations of the universe, and I admit my breadth of experience is less than yours, I have see that those who are the challengers and the rebels within a philosophy or a faith, the ones who are the most willing to think for themselves and not simply accept the status quo… They are the ones who are the most solid, the most devout, and the most willing to embrace life. So that is why you – and only you – are the one I would follow in this."

Without realizing it, he leaned a little closer to her. Vandalyn put her hand on Qui-Gon's cheek. His beard tickled her hand. He leaned forward, into her touch, and closed his eyes. He could feel the warmth of her skin near his. They hovered there for a moment and savored the brief silence. Vandalyn allowed her hand to drop and ran it along the edge of his robe. He had belted the robe hastily, and above his waist it gapped open. There were some scars on his chest from old battles. Her finger touched one for a brief moment and Qui-Gon felt a rush of emotion course through him, undercutting the control and balance he had established just a few moments before, and start to drag him under.

The sense of being adrift within his churning emotions offered Qui-Gon a moment of stark clarity: He had made himself more vulnerable to the Dark Side by so stringently denying his feelings. Because he'd become unfamiliar with them, he could not process them the way he should, and they battered at him. _All those years of discipline… were they for nothing? Have they only served to create such a profound flaw?_ Nearly overwhelmed by his sudden understanding, and the sudden uncertainty, he felt rudderless and adrift within his emotions.

_There is nothing but… chaos._ The possibility wrenched at his heart.

Vandalyn sensed the change, and the chaos, within him and she put her palm on his chest. Qui-Gon's skin was warm – almost hot – beneath her hand, and she was alarmed by how strongly and rapidly his heart was beating. With her free hand she took a hold of the edge of his robe and leaned close to him, her cheek touching his, her breath in his ear.

"There is no chaos; there is harmony," she whispered. "There is no chaos; there is harmony. There is no chaos; there is harmony. There is no chaos; there is harmony…" She whispered the words over and over again to him. "Anchor yourself to me, Qui-Gon Jinn. Let me hold you in the light and you will see the harmony. There is no chaos; there is harmony…" Vandalyn kept her voice low and soothing and kept repeating the words. Soon, his breath deepened again and his heartbeat slowed.

He pulled back slightly, his eyes searching Vandalyn's face. "You are wise, Vandalyn Mateo, to be able to hold me grounded within the lightness of the Force amidst so much turmoil."

"As you have said to me, it is not that there is no emotion, but it must be we who rule the emotions, not the emotions that rule us…," answered Vandalyn. "But now I would pose your question back to you. Why would you agree to this? What is it about me that makes you willing to risk so much?" She tucked her hair behind her ears as she waited for his answer.

"You challenge me," he said. "You see past the things I've become adjusted to, too comfortable with. I see in you a kindred spirit. Whey you are a full Jedi, I think you will oppose and vex the Council nearly as much as I do." He paused. "And while there is a great deal of strength in you, there is also a softness, and it is something that I realize I am lacking in parts of my life."

While Vandalyn was not surprised by his honesty, she was honored he was willing to be so frank with her.

"Vandalyn," said Qui-Gon very seriously, "I would pursue this path, if you are still willing…" He had said it already once, but somehow, it was important that he repeat it. She smiled, and that was all of the answer Qui-Gon needed.

He pulled Vandalyn close to him and kissed her hard on the mouth, and she did not pull away. He tangled one hand in her hair, gripping a fistful and then letting his fingers slide through the strands, feeling the texture, the softness. Vandalyn ran her hands along the edge of his robe where she touched not only the rough weave of the cloth, but also the skin of his chest. Her fingers skimmed one of the scars.

"You could have these removed."

"No, they are part of who I am. They remind me that I am not invincible, that I must always remain alert and focused." Vandalyn nodded; she understood.

Qui-Gon wrapped his free arm around her back and pulled her closer, kissing her again, focusing only on the feel of her lips on his. As he did, Vandalyn's hands found his belt and worked the knot free. She ran her hands up the edges of the robe again before pushing them back and off of Qui-Gon's shoulders. Vandalyn ran her hands over his shoulders and arms. They were well-defined and strong from his many years of light saber work. Shifting to face him more, Vandalyn's already loosely wrapped robe slipped, dropping slightly from her shoulder.

Qui-Gon skimmed the skin with his lips, moving from shoulder to throat as Vandalyn tilted her head back. She made a small noise as he touched her and he smiled; the sound was pure pleasure, and it sent another wave of emotion coursing through Qui-Gon. He stiffened and pulled back slightly.

"There is no chaos …" she said softly.

"…there is harmony," he answered in a quiet whisper, as the emotion rolled through him, became part of him, but did not pull him under. Unencumbered by his own robe, Qui-Gon loosened Vandalyn belt. Made of a lighter material than his, her robe fell open once it was given its freedom. As his eyes traced the curves of her body, he wondered, _How long has it been since I have allowed myself to feel this?_ _A Jedi is mindful of feelings and cautious of extremes, but I have subjected myself to a barren existence by leashing all of my feelings… _"You are an excellent teacher, padawan."

She laughed softly. "Teach you? What could I possibly teach you, Qui-Gon Jinn?"

"You have taught me how to feel alive again." He leaned towards her, keeping Vandalyn close to him, and lay her down on the mattress. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply, the feeling of her skin against his nothing short of electric...

The memory suddenly stopped, cut off as if a door had slammed shut in her mind. Vandalyn gasped as the shock of it pushed her out of the semi-trance she was hovering in. For a moment, she froze, unsure of what to say. She had not stopped the memories. As promised, she had hidden nothing; she had not tried to block the elders in any way.

Windu's voice was iron. "You will not interfere."

Qui-Gon Jinn's reply was just as firm. "Those memories are intimate and personal. They have no bearing on what you need to know. We have agreed to allow an examination of our memories, but I will not allow anyone to violate the intimacy that Vandalyn and I share."

Yoda nodded, reached over, and touched Windu's hand with a single green claw. "Right, Qui-Gon is. Not ours to see, those particular memories. Too personal, they are."

Vandalyn was relieved. To preserve Qui-Gon's standing in the Jedi, she would have allowed them to see every last kiss, every last touch no matter how intimate, but she was grateful that Qui-Gon was unwilling to permit it. Nearby, Obi-Wan was just as relieved. It was one thing to understand that his own Master had taken a lover, but the last thing he wanted to see was the two of them in any sort of intimate embrace. The little that had been shared was enough for him.

"Perhaps," Obi-Wan said, wishing to move on as quickly as possible, "we should continue with the remainder of her story?"

-- -- -- --

_Okay, some of you may be disappointed that there wasn't a juicier love scene, but when it came right down to it, I can't see Qui-Gon allowing anyone to look into his mind (or Vandalyn's) and see memories and images that were that intimate. If there is an appropriate place to add one later, once we are back in the "current day," I'll add it then. _

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, even if all you weren't crazy about it… I appreciate the honest feedback (especially when accompanied by reasons WHY something didn't work!). Looking forward to reviews on this chapter; I hope you enjoy it!_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

A silent lull filled the Council chamber after Obi-Wan's request. Usa Tabor finally waved his hand and said, "Yes, continue, Vandalyn."

It took her only a moment to refocus on the past. The odd sensation of the elders' minds observing her memories was not as uncomfortable as the first time, but it was still a strange sensation. The memory that began to unfold was hazy, vague and Vandalyn realized it was one of Qui-Gon's not hers…

When Qui-Gon's eyes cracked open, he knew it was morning, past dawn when he usually rose. Vandalyn was curled next to him, all warm skin and wild hair. Her back was pressed against his chest and their limbs were tangled together. For a moment, Qui-Gon wondered if this entire thing was some long, delirious dream, but then Vandalyn stirred slightly. This was no dream. He kissed her hair and marveled at the contentment that filled him.

He bent his head and kissed her bare shoulder, and Vandalyn began to turn in his arms. The brush sensation of her skin against his took his breath away. She turned her face up to him and smiled; he leaned down to kiss her. Before their lips met, Qui-Gon whispered, "You are so beautiful, Vandalyn…"

In that instant of the memory, there was an instantaneous feeling of shock that raced through everyone. It emanated from Qui-Gon as he realized the first dream he'd had about Vandalyn truly had shown him the future… and he'd denied it, ignored it. Qui-Gon closed them all off from his mind. Everyone had felt his surprise, and Vandalyn had to admire how untroubled his face remained when she knew his thoughts were troubled.

"Do well, you would, Qui-Gon Jinn," Yoda said to him, "to dismiss not the power of Jedi dreams." The elder Jedi's voice was not harsh, and Obi-Wan thought that he heard a subtle note of humor.

Qui-Gon was humble enough to acknowledge the gentle chastisement. "Yes, Master Yoda. One must always consider every option when pondering a dream. It is as you taught me years ago."

"Let us continue. Vandalyn, show us what other memories have a bearing on our decision," said Usa. Sharing memories in this fashion was exhausting and he wanted to finish.

"As you say, Master," she answered.

The remaining memories were brief. Vandalyn and Qui-Gon spent the next two days virtually secluded in their living quarters. Vandalyn taught him the basic steps of _ah'dan sho,_ while he pushed her to reach new levels within Ataru. They also spent a great deal of time simply being together, learning what the other wanted and desired. These two days were probably two of the most wonderful either could remember when no demands were made on them other than their own. They knew, however, that it could not always be like this, so they captured every moment they could.

Finally, it was time for the first session of the Doma-tasan with Zava Ur as the duly elected Doma. Both dressed in their Jedi robes. Qui-Gon's hair was pulled back in his traditional top-knot, and Vandalyn's was braided up except for the long padawan braid she wore. At the door, Qui-Gon slid his arm around her, and pulled Vandalyn against him.

"Outside of these doors, there can be no hint of what exists between us," he said.

"I know," she looked away.

"Vandalyn?"

"It is nothing," she said. "I just do not like the deception. It feels wrong."

"I know." He raised her face up, gently making Vandalyn look at him. "This is not because I am ashamed of you, or of what we've done." There was an urgency in is voice that she'd never heard before and surprised darted across Vandalyn's face.

"I would never think that," she said. "Once I am a full Jedi, things will be different, perhaps no less difficult, but they will be different. But I know as well as you do that to reveal this now would be foolish beyond measure."

Qui-Gon kissed her. _This will be a test for us. If we cannot keep our own secrets here, we will never be able to keep them in the company of other Jedi._ "Then let us go usher in a new era for the Doma-tasan of Dunal."

-- -- -- --

_Sorry it has taken so long for an update. Once I got back from AZ, work got crazy and then I came down with the Mother of All Head Colds. Even now, my head is pounding and I'm coughing like crazy. This was a bit of a transition chapter… I promise there is more to come, and it won't be quite so long between postings. Scout's Honor! _


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The deep boom of a drum resonated in the room. As the third rolling thrum faded away, Zava Ur walked in wearing the green mantle of the Doma along with the ornate collar that held the seal of office. The members of the Doma-tasan remained standing until Zava Ur took his seat. Next to him, for this one meeting, sat Qui-Gon Jinn. Nimat Ilo had temporarily relinquished his own chair as a gesture of respect for the Jedi. The Jedi Master was still and observant, watching the other members of the Doma-tasan.

"Welcome," said the Doma. "We have a great deal to accomplish, and it won't all get done today, but it is time for us to make a start..."

The next four hours were filled with discussion, debate, compromise, and progress. To everyone's surprise – especially Zava Ur – his former adversary, Ressem Ud, was supportive and helpful. For a while, Vandalyn focused quite a bit of attention on Ud, wary of his motives after his strident opposition to Zava Ur. He seemed, however, focused on the business at hand and soon Vandalyn found she needed to move her attention elsewhere. Finally, the Doma felt that he had accomplished and perhaps pushed the Doma-tasan as far as he could that particular morning.

"Thank you all," said Zava Ur. He stood up and looked a round the table. "I dismiss the Doma-tasan for today with my thanks and my gratitude. We'll reconvene tomorrow and meet with the ambassadors from Gavis IV and Patron Narta. I believe they both have trade agreements to present."

Chairs scraped and capes whisked as the members of the Doma-tasan gathered their things and started to leave the room, talking amongst themselves about what had been discussed that day.

"Jedi Master." The voice was Ressem Ud's. "A few moments of your time?

"Of course." Qui-Gon's voice was neutral, but polite. Something about Ressem Ud bothered him, but he had not yet divined the source of the disturbance that he felt. He turned to Vandalyn. "Padawan, you will accompany the Doma to his quarters. I will join you there shortly."

"As you wish." She bowed and turned to Zava Ur. "Doma?" She gestured, offering to let the Doma precede her out of the room in deference to his rank.

After they'd gone, Qui-Gon turned back to Ressem Ud. "What is on your mind, Ud?"

"Why?"

"Why what?" Qui-Gon knew what Ressem Ud was getting at, but chose to be difficult.

"Why did you cast a vote for Zava Ur? It was a foolish choice."

"I don't consider it foolish. Of all the members of the Doma-tasan, he is the best suited to assume the role of Doma."

"He is too young."

"Ur has been a member of the Doma-tasan long enough to understand the political winds," replied Qui-Gon. "He is fair-minded, and not prone to unprovoked aggression." Ressem Ud glared at Qui-Gon for a split second, knowing the last comment was directed at him. Then, almost unexpectedly, he let the comment drop and looked up at the high windows in the room. The sun was streaming through the second round window, sending a beam of light onto the opposite wall where it touched an inlaid starburst pattern made of colored stones. At noon, the sun would shine through the central window, and the light would strike the center of the mosaic.

After a moment of silence, Ressem Ud continued. "Fair-minded? He will be weak in negotiations. He has neither the experience nor the heart to lead our military."

"He will gain experience as he governs. His other qualities will make up for those lacks. Dunal is not currently involved in any military disputes, so he has the opportunity to learn from the experience of trusted and loyal advisors. As for negotiation, he has enough savvy and insight that I believe he will be an excellent negotiator."

"It is not the same," hissed Ud. "He is not strong. He is not willing to take the bold action required."

Qui-Gon paused for a moment. _Bold action._ He nearly laughed for the last time anyone had spoken to him about bold action, he'd been kissed by Vandalyn and his universe set akimbo. "If you do not feel he is strong, why do you not offer to advise him?" asked Qui-Gon. "You have many years of experience in your navy. You could be a tremendous asset for him, Ud."

Ud snorted derisively and did not answer. Instead, he looked again at the windows, marking the sun's progression against the starburst mosaic. He shifted restlessly. Qui-Gon looked at the door, half expecting someone to be there. He frowned, his intuition reminding him that all was not right, and focused his attention even more keenly on Ressem Ud. He could, however, detect no unusual thoughts.

In another part of the complex, Zava Ur chatted amiably with Vandalyn, asking her about what life was like as a Jedi's apprentice. A short distance behind them trailed two of the Doma's personal security officers. A few moments later they started to walk up the stairs to the Rotunda of the Twenty. Dunal's very first Doma-tasan had been comprised of twenty people, and each was now remembered by an elegant spiraling column. The raised Rotunda was a crossroads within the governmental complex. The wide hall where they walked led to the Doma-tasan's meeting hall. The hallway opposite them would bring you to the high court of Dunal. The hallway that went north would bring you to the Doma's personal suite of rooms, and the last hallway would eventually lead you to the great stairs and main entrance to the complex.

"Does it seem odd," asked Vandalyn as they walked up the five steps to the floor of the Rotunda, "that there are so few in the Rotunda of the Twenty today? It is mid-day…" Her steps slowed.

Back in the Council chamber, Qui-Gon rebutted yet another question from Ressem Ud, and once he did, Ud looked up at the window again and smiled. "This has been a marvelous discussion, Jedi Master. It is a shame; Zava Ur will not reach the potential you believe he possesses. A shame your young apprentice will not reach hers either." There was a feral, mean gleam in Ud's eyes that finally unmasked his intentions. This had all been a delay; Zava Ur – along with Vandalyn – was walking into a trap!

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_As promised, another chapter not TOO long after the last one. I will confess to having my… umm… behind… kicked by an awful cold for the last week. Coughing so much I've hurt my back and pulled muscles. Bah humbug. But I seem to be on the mend and hopefully, can post more this weekend. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and/or review this story… I really appreciate it. I'm looking forward to hearing what you think of this latest installment._


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Vandalyn sensed the blaster bolts coming and lunged in front of Zava Ur. Her light saber blade flashed, deflecting the attack. She pointed to her left. "Go! Get to the alcove by that column, there is some bit of shelter there!" She covered Ur's retreat and cursed under her breath. A sharp cry behind her told Vandalyn that one of the Doma's bodyguards was down.

The second bodyguard, Zava Ba, dragged his companion to the alcove and then put himself between the Doma and the attackers. Before he did that, he handed his extra weapon to the Doma. Zava Ur took it and didn't hesitate to return fire.

"Cover the sides," said Vandalyn, "but keep your heads down. Zava Ba, the Doma's safety is our primary concern." She moved forward. Zava Ur grabbed her robe and they all ducked to avoid another barrage of blaster fire.

"You cannot defend the front alone," he said.

"I _will_ defend the front," she said simply. "I can hold off more of them with my light saber than you can with your blasters. And surely reports of blaster fire have been sent; help will come." She hoped her voice projected confidence, because she did not feel it. In her heart, Vandalyn knew that only Ressem Ud would be bold enough to orchestrate an assassination attempt. It was unlikely he would have left much opportunity for a rescue. She took a deep breath and allowed herself one, single distracting thought about Qui-Gon, and then she turned all of her focus on defending the Doma.

Qui-Gon raced down the hall with Nimat Ilo and a dozen other Dunali males. As soon as he'd understood the true purpose behind Ud's diversion, the Dunali had attacked Qui-Gon. Now Ressem Ud was writhing in pain on the Council hall floor, his arm severed at the elbow by Qui-Gon's light saber. The Jedi Master had left several guards to make sure Ressem Ud did not slither away into the shadows. As he'd run from the Council Chamber, Qui-Gon had found Nimat Ilo by sheer coincidence. He'd shouted that believed Zava Ur was going to be attacked. Nimat Ilo didn't hesitate; he ran after Qui-Gon and ordered several guards to come with them.

Of the fifteen assassins, only six were still left. Four had been taken out by Zava Ba before he'd been killed. The others had been foolish enough to rush Vandalyn, thinking their numbers would overwhelm and intimidate her. They all were either dead or seriously injured by her light saber before they realized how deadly Vandalyn really was, but she had paid a price. One blaster bolt had only partially deflected and left a deep score in her thigh. The remaining six held back more, and were now firing in waves, giving Vandalyn no opportunity to rest. They were banking on her eventually tiring as the pain of her wound sapped her strength. Eventually, they knew she would make a mistake.

She deflected three bolts in rapid succession and twisted away as a fourth shot screamed past her head, so close that it left a slight scorch mark on her cheek. It was not as deep, but it was nearly as painful as the wound on her leg. "Doma," she said. "There are few enough now that I could cover your retreat back towards the Council Hall."

"No," he nearly shouted. "I will not leave you or Cadai Fen. He is still alive but he is unconscious." The Doma pointed his blaster and pulled the trigger. One assassin grunted, injured only slightly by the bolt. Vandalyn didn't have time to reply as another volley of bolts blazed through the air. They were running out of time.

Sensing that Vandalyn was tiring quickly, four of the remaining assassins closed in on her. The other two circled around, using the columns as camouflage, towards Zava Ur. Vandalyn clenched her teeth and raised her light saber into the first Soresu defensive position. If she was going to die, she was going to die well. A blaster bolt screamed through the air, but it knocked one of her attackers off of his feet. In the background, she could hear Nimat Ilo shouting to protect the Doma.

The unexpected arrival of the soldiers startled the assassins and Vandalyn didn't waste the chance. Her defensive pose turned instantly into a lunge, and she caught the nearest one in the abdomen with her light saber blade. The next moment, Qui-Gon was next to her, driving back the others with a blinding display of Ataru attacks. Exhausted and in pain, Vandalyn relinquished her position and sank to the ground. She pressed one hand against the wound on her thigh. It wasn't bleeding – blaster fire, like light sabers, cauterized wounds. Nevertheless, it hurt and the pressure from her hand brought a small modicum of relief. Her cheek ached, too, reminding Vandalyn how close she'd come to dying. She started to shake a little.

The arrival of Qui-Gon, Nimat Ilo, and the others changed the balance of power. Two of the assassins threw down their weapons and surrendered. They shouted that Ressem Ud had threatened their families to force their help in the assassination attempt. Zava Ur had them take into custody with a promise of discovering the truth – and to deliver quick justice to the guilty.

While the Doma and Nimat Ilo dealt with that, Qui-Gon knelt down next to Vandalyn. He put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Are you badly hurt?" He kept his voice carefully moderated, and anyone else who had heard them would have, perhaps, thought he was too detached. Vandalyn, however, heard the concern in his voice, felt the small tremble in his touch.

"I'm fine," she said. "My injuries will heal. How is the Doma? Was he hurt?"

"I will live as well, Jedi Apprentice, thanks to you." Zava Ur and Qui-Gon helped Vandalyn to her feet. She tested her leg; she could walk but only with a very painful limp.

Zava Ur waved a hand that brought Nimat Ilo hurrying to his side. "My own medics, Zava Gis and Veelas Ez will attend the Jedi Apprentice," he said. "Send a medical team for her; she should not be walking."

"As you wish, Doma, but I must insist you go to your quarters while we ascertain if there is any additional threat. Thanks to the Jedi Master we have Ressem Ud in custody, but I do not wish to take any chances."

"Nimat Ilo is right, Doma," said Qui-Gon. "I will remain with the padawan for now and make certain she is cared for."

Ur nodded. "Very well. Ilo, as soon as possible I want to speak to Zava Ba's family. He fought bravely, and I want them to know how grateful I am that he was here to defend me." Nodding, Ilo hurried the Doma away, leaving Qui-Gon and Vandalyn alone. She sat back down, her back against a column, to ease the pressure on her leg. Qui-Gon stood next to her. He kept his hands folded within the sleeves of his robe and his eyes took in everything around them. He was close enough to Vandalyn to feel the weight of her shoulder on his leg as she leaned into him slightly.

"We will always face this," she said. "We are Jedi before we are anything else."

"That will be the hardest thing," answered Qui-Gon after a moment of reflection. "Even harder than the times we will be separated by mundane duties and long distances."

She looked up at him and smiled. "And I still believe it will be worth it."

"I do, too," he replied. Then he saw four Dunali hurrying towards them. "Look. The medical team is here."

The mental connection allowing the elders to share Vandalyn's memories made her head feel stuffy and full. She shook her head to try to clear it as she gently broke away from the connection. There was really not much left to tell. Three days later, after she was released by the medics, she and Qui-Gon accepted formal thanks from Zava Ur and left Dunal.

For a moment, she sat quietly, gathering her composure and then looked up at the three elders. Tabor looked thoughtful, and Yoda was nodding slightly as he came to his own conclusions. Mace Windu, however, was unreadable. "Take my rank," she said, "but please do not punish Qui-Gon for something he did not start. My actions placed us on this path."

"Your actions may have put you on the path," said Windu, "but Qui-Gon's propelled you down it."

"Give it all up, you would?" asked Yoda again. "Leave here with nothing? Leave here as no one?"

"I don't regret what I've done," she answered evenly. "If my future rank as Jedi Knight and my light saber are the price, then I pay them willingly. Willingly and gladly."

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and a small smile crossed his face. There was a conviction and a profound truth in her words that each one of them could hear. Vandalyn loved him as much as he loved her; no one could deny or refute that. And he knew that he would pay whatever price the Jedi Council demanded, willingly and gladly.

"And since your time on Dunal? What of that?" asked Windu.

"There is little more to tell," said Vandalyn. "If you wish, I will recount our time together over the past two years, but I don't believe it will provide you any additional insights."_ Or any additional fodder to condemn us…_

"That will be unnecessary," said Usa Tabor, forestalling any possibility of Mace Windu agreeing to the idea.

"So what is the Council's ruling?" asked Qui-Gon. He wanted to be done with this inquisition.

"Would you abide by our ruling?" Windu cocked an eyebrow, answering Qui-Gon's question with another question. Vandalyn noticed that his voice had lost some of the hard edge it had held before.

"Given my history of obedience, it would depend whether or not I agreed with it," said Qui-Gon.

Windu actually cracked a flash of a smile. "At least you're honest; a claim of obedience would have been too overt of a lie. I think I would have been insulted."

As Windu and Qui-Gon spoke, Usa Tabor leaned over and whispered something to Yoda. Then he looked around the room. "I think we are in general agreement," he said. "But first there is something I must say…"

-- -- -- --

_Okay, yea, I know… another bit of a cliff-hanger. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that the back and forth between scenes wasn't too confusing. I thought of keeping all Vandalyn's stuff together and all of Qui-Gon's together, but having them interspersed seemed to work better for me… let me know what you thought of it. And of course, many many thanks to my readers and to my reviewers. I really do love hearing from y'all! Since it is the start of the work week, I may not be able to post until the weekend, but I'll try to get something else up before then. Ciao!_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_Something he needed to say?_ Vandalyn looked warily at the elders. It had been a long day, and she really didn't want any more surprises, but she kept her silence, waiting for whatever new twist Usa Tabor was going to add. Whatever challenge they threw, she would answer.

"The floor is yours," said Windu. He gestured to Usa Tabor and settled back in his chair, tapping his fingers and looking thoughtfully at Qui-Gon.

"After your battle to save the Doma, Qui-Gon sent me a detailed account of how you handled yourself, Vandalyn. One of the many possible tests for a padawan to become a Jedi Knight is the Test of Skill. Your demonstration of your abilities was most impressive. Most impressive."

Vandalyn's eyebrows knit and she glanced over at Qui-Gon. She'd never known that he'd sent a specific report about the attack on the Doma to Usa.

"I didn't tell you about the report," Qui-Gon said to her unasked question, "because if it did influence your future, I didn't want you to think it was because we'd become lovers. It was a frank assessment from one Jedi Master to another. Had it been Obi-Wan at Dunal, and had he performed the same way, he may well be a full Jedi Knight by now." Both Vandalyn and Obi-Wan checked at that.

"What Qui-Gon says is the truth," continued Usa, "but something held me back. There was no concrete reason then for me to not pass you on to become a full Jedi. Yet, I sensed there was something you still needed to accomplish, but I was unsure what. Now that I have shared your memories of the days leading up to the battle, I realize that even Qui-Gon's critique was lacking."

Yoda nodded in agreement. He remembered the day Usa Tabor had come to him, concerned by his hesitation to declare Vandalyn a full Jedi. They had spent many hours in deep discussion, and in the end Yoda had reminded Usa that only he – as Vandalyn's Master - could determine if she was ready. And in the end, Usa had chosen to keep Vandalyn's status as a padawan intact, trusting his instincts.

"I see now that the missing piece of the puzzle was," Usa continued with a thoughtful nod of his head. "I think there are few who could have managed their emotions the way you have through this relationship, and fewer still who could have helped someone like Qui-Gon Jinn navigate such a maelstrom of chaos. As your Master, I say you have subjected yourself to a Test of the Heart more extensive and more excruciating than I could have ever devised. So I say you are a padawan no longer; you are a full Jedi Knight, Vandalyn Mateo. Kneel."

Vandalyn was stunned; this, she never expected. She obeyed Usa Tabor and knelt before him. The familiar hum of a light saber sounded in her ear as she felt Master Tabor lift her padawan braid. The acrid scent of burnt hair wafted through the room.

"Qui-Gon?" Usa held out the severed braid to the other Jedi Master and it was Qui-Gon's turn to be surprised. As Vandalyn's Master, it was Usa Tabor's right to conduct the ritual that passed her from padawan to Knight. The offer to share it with Qui-Gon bespoke of Usa's respect for him and acknowledged Qui-Gon's bond with Vandalyn.

Vandalyn felt Qui-Gon step close behind her. He unbraided her hair and gently ran his fingers through it to comb out the tangles. He pulled the sides back to create a small ponytail behind her head and user her own padawan braid to tie it in place. He stepped back and gave Vandalyn some room. Pulling her robe back on, Vandalyn stood and hung her light saber at her waist. She couldn't help but smile.

"Make no mistake, either of you," said Windu abruptly. "I do not argue that Vandalyn has earned her place as a Jedi Knight, but I am not pleased with your actions – especially yours, Qui-Gon. When I first realized how long this affair has continued, I had half a mind to expel you both from the Jedi Order." He stared hard at Qui-Gon who, unsurprisingly, remained silent and defiant under Windu's hard stare. "Do you realize what harm you could have brought to her training?"

"As you know from our memories, I meditated on that each day," Qui-Gon answered.

Windu grumbled but subsided when Yoda stood and raised his hand. "Decided we have," said Yoda, "how to handle the feelings between you both."

Before Windu could say something, Usa continued, "Our decision is final, and is not open to debate or change from either of you. You will accept our judgment or you will both leave the Jedi. Do you understand? Both of you?"

"Yes, Master," they both replied humbly.

"You will not speak to anyone about when your affair started," said Usa. "When you leave this chamber, you may reveal your relationship slowly, over the next few months, if that is your wish. That is your decision, and we will not interfere. However, we do not want other Jedi padawans to develop any ideas from the two of you. Chaos would result. Few could have navigated this maze with the same success that you have."

It was more than a fair offer, and Qui-Gon knew it. "It will be as you ask," he said. "Thank you."

"But what of the others?" asked Vandalyn. "How can we keep this a secret when so many know why you brought Qui-Gon before the Council today? The chamber was filled…"

"It was but an illusion," said Tabor with the faintest trace of a smile on his face. "Only four people know – aside from the two of you – what truly went on here today. Master Yoda, Master Windu, Obi-Wan, and myself." Qui-Gon's head snapped up and he met Yoda's eyes with surprise. To the side, Obi-Wan shifted restlessly, also surprised and unsettled by what Tabor had just said.

"Surprised you are, Qui-Gon?" asked Yoda. "Even you, fooled can be."

With a smile, Qui-Gon bowed deeply at the waist, acknowledging Yoda's full and unsurpassed mastery of the Force. For her part, Vandalyn was thankful. The outcome of this inquisition was better than she had ever hoped it might be.

"My thanks to you for your wisdom and tolerance," Vandalyn said to the three elders. She and Qui-Gon turned to leave. They did not touch, but stayed close enough together that Obi-Wan noticed the easy comfort they felt around each other. When they were nearly to the door, Usa sighed softly and Yoda looked at him questioningly.

"It will take all of her lessons, all of her will to walk this path," said Usa thoughtfully. "Vandalyn Mateo will be my greatest success or my darkest failure."

"Warn you both, I do," Yoda's surprisingly sharp voice followed Vandalyn and Qui-Gon. "Your bond is strong, but dangerous it is. Someday, one of you will be no more. What will the other do, hmm? Grief and sorrow may lead to anger, and that is the path to the Dark Side. Avoid it, you cannot. Joy and sorrow; love and hate. Much difference between these, there is not."

Looking back over her shoulder, Vandalyn nodded, her face thoughtful. "I understand, Master Yoda," she said just before she and Qui-Gon left the Council chamber. The door slid shut with a faint hiss behind them.

"Understand, she does not," Yoda sighed as he looked up at Mace Windu and Usa Tabor. "Much pain in her future, I see."

-- -- -- --

_Hello! Thanks to everyone who has read my story so far and extra thanks to all of you who take the time to review. I do appreciate the feedback! We're not done with the story yet, but I'm actually going to need to pull out my DVD to check a couple things for some upcoming chapters. I'll do my best to update quickly, I promise. Looking forward to hearing what you think of this chapter. Ciao!_


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Outside of the door, Vandalyn allowed her self to exhale sharply. She looked up at Qui-Gon, her eyes wide as she processed what had just happened. While his face concealed more, Vandalyn could see the same surprise – and relief – in his eyes.

"By the Force," she whispered, "we are free. No more secrets."

They could not finish the conversation. Jedi Master Su'ka'en Bardeen came around the corner, followed by a cluster of younglings. He stopped when he saw them. "Younglings, greet Master Qui-Gon Jinn."

A chorus of high, eager voices responded, "Greetings, Master Jinn."

"Younglings." He acknowledged them with a small smile and a bow, remembering briefly, Obi-Wan when he was that age.

"And greetings also to padawan Vandalyn… Ah!" Bardeen's face lit up when he noticed her hair. "Padawan no more, I see. Congratulations, Vandalyn. Younglings, this is Jedi Knight Vandalyn Mateo."

"Greetings, Jedi Mateo," responded the youngsters.

She bowed as well. "Greetings, younglings."

"Come along," said Bardeen. "We have lessons to attend to." The group continued down the hall and just as they disappeared around the corner, the door behind Qui-Gon and Vandalyn slid open again. Obi-Wan stepped out into the hall. He locked eyes with Vandalyn for a moment, but barely inclined his head. Her cheeks colored. She could feel the confusion and resentment in him.

"Master," said Obi-Wan as he stepped past them. He gave Qui-Gon nothing more than a cursory bow.

"Obi-Wan, wait." Qui-Gon was not entirely surprised when his padawan did not obey, although he did slow his steps. Qui-Gon took a few steps after Obi-Wan and then looked back over his shoulder at Vandalyn. She gestured slightly. _Go,_ her eyes told him. Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon catch up with him a few minutes later as he walked out onto one of the balconies that overlooked the bustling city-planet that was Coruscant.

_"Obi-Wan."_ There was a sharper tone to Qui-Gon's voice this time. Obi-Wan stopped but he did not turn around. He leaned the palms of his hands on the balcony railing. Keeping a careful eye on his padawan's body language, Qui-Gon waited. He did not approach and finally, Obi-Wan's shoulders relaxed a fraction.

"This has been a lot to process for you."

That made Obi-Wan turn. "A lot to process? _A lot to process_?"

"It is an observation."

"It is an understatement."

Qui-Gon nodded, accepting the criticism. "Then tell me, padawan, what is it that bothers you most? I will explain my thoughts if I can."

Obi-Wan stayed silent. He ran his hands through his short hair and finally dragged his eyes from the floor to meet Qui-Gon's. His master stood quietly with his hands folded inside the arms of his robe, a familiar and – if Obi-Wan was honest – comforting sight. Not everything had changed.

"Our lives as Jedi are so austere in many ways, Master. I am having a difficult time comprehending that you have taken another Jedi as a… lover. I did not think that was our way."

"Until I met Vandalyn, I did not believe so either, Obi-Wan. As you saw today, I struggled greatly with my decisions. But there is more to your anger than the fact that Vandalyn and I are lovers."

Again, Obi-Wan stayed silent, thinking. "You're right," he said. "I am angry… and anger is the path to the Dark Side."

"Indeed it is, padawan, but I do not think you are on the path to the Dark Side. In our lives, we all become angry at some point or another. The key is to understand your anger, and to let it go. Let it dissipate back into the universe. Allow it to flow through you."

"It is difficult," said Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon nodded. "The key to understanding is expressing. If you cannot name your fear or your anger, then you cannot face it, and you cannot be free of it."

Obi-Wan's next words came out in a rush. "There was so much concern for Vandalyn's training, for how damaged she could have become. Did no one wonder what might happen to you? Did you not wonder what this affair might do to my training?"

Qui-Gon, who had stepped closer to Obi-Wan as they spoke, put his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "I did wonder, and it was a tremendous concern for me, padawan. I lay awake for many nights wondering. I did not even share my concerns with Vandalyn because I did not want her behavior towards you to change even on the most subtle level. You would have noticed the change, and to discover what existed between she and I in that manner could have done far more damage to your trust and your training than I was willing to risk."

Some of the bluster went out of Obi-Wan. "I just wish you would have trusted me with your secret, Master. I would not have betrayed you."

"I have no doubt you would have kept our secret, padawan. Your loyalty and devotion to your word was never in question." Normally, Qui-Gon kept an even tone, allowing the full measure of his Jedi reserve to echo in his voice. However, this day he allowed a moment of raw honesty to fill it. Whether it was intentional or simply because he was exhausted by the Council's inquisition, Obi-Wan never knew, but he heard the respect there and was humbled.

"Thank you, Master."

"And what is your assessment of all of this?"

"I do not entirely agree with your decision, Master. I think you placed yourself and Vandalyn in a tremendous amount of jeopardy… but somehow, you both seem to have navigated through it without being swept into the Dark Side. It was a risk of… epic… proportions."

Qui-Gon nodded. He appreciated Obi-Wan's honesty and in all the years he'd filled the role of Obi-Wan's Master, he had encouraged his padawan to always speak his mind, even when it was something Qui-Gon did not want to hear. It had caused friction between them from time to time, but Qui-Gon knew it would make Obi-Wan a better Jedi someday.

"Your summation is accurate," said Qui-Gon, "and honest."

"You should go, Master." It was an order, and Obi-Wan was secretly pleased to see the flash of surprise in Qui-Gon's eyes. "I'm sure there are other people here on Coruscant that you would like to spend a little time with…" Obi-Wan did not mention Vandalyn by name, but there was no doubt who he meant.

Qui-Gon bowed briefly to Obi-Wan and walked towards the door.

"Master."

Qui-Gon looked over his shoulder.

"Please tell Vandalyn congratulations on becoming a full Knight, and convey my apologies to her for my rude behavior outside the Council Hall." Obi-Wan's face was solemn.

"Of course," answered Qui-Gon.

A short time later, Qui-Gon placed his hand on the entrance pad in the hallway outside of Vandalyn's quarters. A clear chime sounded inside. Vandalyn didn't actually need to look at the monitor to see it was Qui-Gon; she could sense his presence when he was near her. The door slid open and she smiled when he came in. She had changed into her favorite light kurta.

"How is Obi-Wan?" she asked.

"He will survive," said Qui-Gon. "Today was a bit of a shock for him."

"I can imagine, and add to that some of the things he saw in our memories. He will still need some time."

"Obi-Wan also sends his congratulations, and his apologies." Qui-Gon pulled off his outer robe, folded it, and allowed it to settle over the back of a chair. He glanced around. Her rooms were spare but elegant, done in neutral colors with hints of green and russet. It reminded Qui-Gon of a garden.

"His apologies? For what?"

"For ignoring you after the Council finished."

She chuckled. "He could have done and said much worse. I was not offended by his silence."

"Nevertheless, he has apologized." Qui-Gon sat down in one of the chairs in her sitting room and held a hand out. Vandalyn came over to his side and slid her hand into his, and smiled as he feathered his thumb across the back of her hand. She surprised him by sliding into his lap and encircling his neck with her arms.

"The Council has freed us from our secrets, Qui-Gon."

"And what would you like to do with that freedom? Trumpet it to the skies?" He kissed her gently at the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

"No." Vandalyn's voice was firm.

"No?" Qui-Gon was slightly surprised.

Vandalyn remembered Qui-Gon's words from back on Dunal. "And do not worry that I am ashamed of you, Qui-Gon, or of what has grown between us. If those close to us ask, then I would tell them about us gladly, but I see no purpose in flaunting it. That would encourage those who are young and impetuous to possibly follow our path; most of them would not be able to navigate it."

"You've given this a great deal of thought." He ran the tips of his fingers along her arm and watched the goose bumps rise on her skin.

"You disagree?"

"No, I think this decision is both wise and appropriate. What brought you to this conclusion?"

"There was a great deal of concern," said Vandalyn, "over possible harm to my training. I would not want to harm another padawan. That would be, to me, unacceptable." She untangled herself from Qui-Gon and stood up.

"Come," she said.

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at her inviting tone, but he said nothing, asking through his silence for clarification.

Vandalyn's smile widened and she gently flexed her fingers. "Come, beloved. Come to bed… with me."

Qui-Gon did not need a second invitation.

-- -- -- --

_Hi everyone! I didn't mean for it to take so long to get this chapter up for y'all to take a look at. It took me longer to get some of that dialogue that I needed for some upcoming chapters. I hope you enjoy this chapter… I'm looking forward to getting your feedback on this chapter._


	17. Chapter 17

_Author's note: some of the dialogue in this chapter is from The Phantom Menace and is used for story continuity._

**Chapter 17**

For the next two years, Vandalyn and Qui-Gon spent a great deal of time together; more, in fact, than either of them had really expected. Despite the bluster from Mace Windu and some other members of the Council, they were not often parted for tremendous lengths of time, a month – perhaps – but no more. They also remained discreet about their relationship. A few of the more perceptive Jedi Masters and Knights picked up on it, but did not press needlessly.

But as content as their small universe was, the larger universe was growing more troubled and touched with darkness. The Republic was struggling to maintain order, and the Trade Federation was taking advantage of those lapses. The most recent was the blockade of Naboo. The Jedi Council sent Vandalyn back to Dunal to ask the Doma for his support in supporting the Senate against external pressures. Shortly after she left, the Federation escalated the pressure on Naboo. When that happened, the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, and the Jedi Order requested that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan go to Naboo and force a settlement with the Trade Federation.

Vandalyn returned to Coruscant with a commitment from Dunal to support the Senate. When she got to her own quarters, she knew Qui-Gon wasn't there. A sense of restless unease touched her. She went over to the video monitor and waved her hand in front of the blinking green light. Humming to life, Qui-Gon's face appeared on the screen, and her unease disappeared.

"Welcome home," the recording said. "I'd hoped to see you in person, but the Council is sending me to Naboo. They – and the Senate – tire of the Federation's blockade and interference. Obi-Wan and I will bring a settlement to terms, and then I will return to Coruscant. I love you."

She flinched slightly, pleasantly startled. She knew he loved her, and loved her deeply, but Qui-Gon did not say it out loud often, preferring to show it through his actions. Vandalyn smiled. It meant the world to her to hear him say it. "I love you, too, Qui-Gon," she said to the monitor.

Vandalyn took a few moments to change into a fresh set of robes and then went to the Council chamber. About half of the full Council was there, including Mace Windu, Yoda, and Usa Tabor. She was pleased to see her former Master; he had retired from training padawans, but was still an active member of the Council.

"Returned to us, you have," said Yoda.

She bowed. "I have, Master Yoda, and I bring greetings from the Doma of Dunal. He agrees with the Council and Senate's stance regarding the Federations' unsavory tactics. He assures me we can count on his support if needed."

"Excellent," said Windu.

Vandalyn bowed. She had nothing further to report and no reason to stay. She turned, ready to return to her room and get some sleep.

"We've had word from Qui-Gon at Naboo," said Usa. "There has been some trouble."

She turned slowly, keeping any hint of fear leashed and firmly buried. "Trouble? Explain."

"The Federation attempted to kill both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan," Usa told her. Vandalyn's eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

"Where is he?"

"He is returning here now, escorting Queen Amidala. They had to land on Tatooine to repair the Queen's ship, that is the only reason he is not here now," said Windu. "But they are on their way. We expect them tomorrow."

"Thank you, Master," said Vandalyn. "May the Force be with you." She turned and left the room. Once she was back in her own quarters, Vandalyn took a cushion and placed it on the floor. Sitting down, she faced a small water fountain and closed her eyes. A meditation would help her sleep. As she slipped deeper into her concentration, she let her feelings range out until she felt Qui-Gon's energy within the fabric of the Force. They'd learned that they could touch each other through their energy. It only lasted for a moment, and they only did it rarely; it was a bit distracting.

As soon as she sensed his energy, Vandalyn pulled back. She would never forgive herself if she touched his mind at an inopportune time and caused Qui-Gon to hurt himself. Just the sense he was there was reassuring. Vandalyn dropped down into her meditation, content.

The next morning, Vandalyn had no pressing duties so she went to the practice yard to go through her light saber forms. The previous year she'd been named an adept in the Ataru form and was now working on Shien, the fifth form of light saber combat. After working up a considerable sweat and earning both coaching and praise from the other practitioners, Vandalyn retired from the floor and spent a luxuriously long time in the shower.

A short time later, she left her room with the intent of going to the Jedi Temple, but she didn't make it far. Two of the Supreme Chancellor's guards were walking down the hall, talking to each other about the arrival of Queen Amidala.

"Pardon me," said Vandalyn.

"Yes, Jedi?" asked one of the guards.

"Did you say that Queen Amidala of Naboo has arrived?"

"She has."

"Do you know if Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn arrived with her?"

"He did. I understand that he went directly to speak with the Jedi Council," said the other guard.

"Thank you," said Vandalyn with a bow. "May the Force be with you." She hurried down the hall towards the Council room. The door was closed, but was not sealed. From time to time, when they discussed extremely sensitive things, the Council would be have a sealed session. If it was not, any Jedi was welcome to enter, but none could participate in the discussions but members of the Council or those who the Council was directly questioning.

Vandalyn slipped quietly in the door and stood against the wall. A few eyes flicked over to her and then moved back to Qui-Gon Jinn who stood in the center of his floor with his padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, slightly behind him.

"He was trained in the Jedi arts," Qui-Gon was saying when she came in. "My only conclusion is that it is a Sith Lord." Vandalyn stiffened, her surprise and concern mirrored in the faces of the others in the room.

"Impossible," said Master Ysal Malon firmly. "The Sith have been extinct for a millennia."

Mace Windu frowned. "I do not believe the Sith could have returned without us knowing."

"Ah, hard to see the Dark Side is," observed Yoda.

"We will use all of our resources. We will discover the identity of your attacker," Mace told Qui-Gon. "May the Force be with you." It was a dismissal, and some Council members stirred. Even Obi-Wan began to turn towards the door. Qui-Gon remained where he was.

"Master Qui-Gon, more to say have you?" asked Yoda.

"With your permission, my Master, I have encountered a convergence in the Force."

Yoda's head cocked to the side. "A convergence you say?"

"Centered around a person?" asked Windu.

Qui-Gon nodded. "A boy. His cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I've ever seen in a life form." He paused for a moment. His next statement was something he had thought deeply about ever since meeting Anakin. "It is possible he was conceived by the Force."

In the chamber, other members of the Jedi Council glanced uneasily at each other, and a low murmur skittered through the room. Vandalyn frowned and she caught Obi-Wan's eye. She raised an eyebrow, her expression clearly a question, but Obi-Wan's expression revealed nothing to her.

"You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force. You believe it is this boy?" Windu rubbed his chin.

"I would not presume…" began Qui-Gon.

"But you do presume," said Yoda sharply. "Revealed your opinion is."

Qui-Gon remained calm in the face of Yoda's rebuke. "I request the boy be tested, Master."

"Oh, trained as a Jedi you request for him," said Yoda.

Although puzzled by Yoda's tone, Qui-Gon continued. "Finding him was the will of the Force. I've no doubt of that."

Mace Windu's sigh was heavy. "Bring him before us, then."

"I will have him here in the morning," said Qui-Gon.

-- -- -- --

_Hello… I hope you've enjoyed the chapter. Thanks to everyone who has read it so far, and a special thanks to those of you who have left reviews. I appreciate the feedback. Looking forward to hearing what you think of this latest installment. And there is more to come, I promise!_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Outside the Council room, Qui-Gon looked satisfied. "Once they examine the boy, they will agree with me." His voice was confident.

"And who is this boy?" asked Vandalyn. Qui-Gon's expression softened when he saw her. He had sensed her in the Council room but had not actually seen her. He took her hand for a moment, giving it a squeeze.

"His name is Anakin Skywalker. I believe he is the Chosen One, Vandalyn. His midi-chlorian count is unlike anything I have ever seen."

"When do I get to meet him?" She thought Qui-Gon was a little over enthusiastic, but having never met this Anakin Skywalker, Vandalyn didn't want to pre-judge the boy.

"Now if you'd like," said Qui-Gon.

It took about fifteen minutes to walk to the room where Anakin waited for Qui-Gon to return. As they walked, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan told Vandalyn about their adventures on Naboo. Vandalyn questioned Qui-Gon intently about the mysterious dark warrior with the double-bladed light saber.

"You are certain it was a Sith Lord?" she asked as they reached their destination.

"I believe so," said Qui-Gon. "He was too well trained in the Jedi arts to be anything other than a Sith."

"If the Sith have returned, then the universe is a darker more dangerous place," said Vandalyn.

At the small room where they had left Anakin with one of Queen Amidala's hand maidens, Qui-Gon opened the door. A small, blond boy about eight or nine years old stood up from a game he was playing with the young woman sitting across from him. Vandalyn's eyebrows went up; she could feel his affinity with the Force and understood what had drawn Qui-Gon to the child. But she also saw suspicion and distrust in his eyes.

"Anakin? I'd like you to meet Jedi Knight Vandalyn Mateo," said Qui-Gon.

Vandalyn smiled as the small blond boy looked up at her earnestly. "It is very nice to meet you," he said. "I'm going to be a Jedi, too."

She didn't respond. Instead, Qui-Gon stepped in. "The Council is going to talk to you tomorrow morning, Anakin. After they see your potential we should be able to start your training. For tonight…" Qui-Gon's voice trailed away slightly. Normally, he would spend the night with Vandalyn, but there was no where in her quarters that Anakin could stay.

"For tonight," interrupted Obi-Wan, "you will stay with me. Master Qui-Gon has some things to attend to."

Anakin looked up at Vandalyn again, sensing that she was somehow involved with Qui-Gon not staying with him, and with no real Jedi training, his uncertainty and fear of abandonment was palpable. It made Vandalyn distinctly uneasy. A potential Jedi should not have that much doubt and fear. She was extraordinarily careful to shield her thoughts.

"Don't worry, youngling," said Qui-Gon. "I will be back in the morning to take you to your interview. Obi-Wan will be here if you need anything or if you have questions."

"Yes, sir," said Anakin, but there was still a touch of reluctance in his voice.

"Perhaps, after we have some food, you would like to see some of the padawans practice with their light sabers?" asked Obi-Wan. The boy perked up at that and nodded, and Obi-Wan gestured towards the door. He looked back over his shoulder when Vandalyn called his name.

"Thank you," she said with a smile. Obi-Wan inclined his head; he did not begrudge his Master time with Vandalyn, and now that Qui-Gon had declared he would train Anakin, Obi-Wan knew that they would spend even less time together.

She gestured towards the door. "Shall we?" she asked Qui-Gon.

Back at Vandalyn's small suite of rooms, the door had barely shut behind them when Qui-Gon pulled Vandalyn into his arms and kissed her. She relaxed into his embrace; his years of light saber training had made him extremely strong and she thoroughly enjoyed being wrapped up in his arms. Sliding her arms around his neck, Vandalyn tugged at the tie holding his hair back and let it drop to the floor. He laughed as she roughed up his hair.

"You seem to find it appealing when I'm all disheveled."

"I do," said Vandalyn.

Qui-Gon cupped her face with his hands. "I found myself thinking of you a great deal as we came back to Coruscant. Once Queen Amidala found me simply looking out at the stars, and she didn't ask what I was thinking about… she asked who I was thinking about."

"And what did you tell her?" Vandalyn kissed the palm of his hand.

"I told her it was someone who was dear to my heart," he answered.

Vandalyn went to the bedroom and began to unbelt her robes. Qui-Gon followed, came up behind her, and pushed her hair to one side. He bent his head and kissed her on the neck. It was a light kiss, gentle, and Vandalyn felt a chill run through her. The familiar ache of desire consumed her as Qui-Gon kissed her neck again, this time with more passion. He slid his arms around her waist and finished untying her belt. He pulled the robe back across her shoulders and let it drop down to the floor. Vandalyn turned her head and looked back over her shoulder at Qui-Gon. He spent just a moment looking at her as he removed his own robe. Her back was long and elegant, and he smiled.

"Do you remember," she asked, still looking over her shoulder, "when we first became lovers? How neither of us could really look at the other like this? We were too embarrassed." There was a laugh in her voice. She turned to face him and boldly let her eyes roam over Qui-Gon from his feet all the way up to his face. "I'm glad we are passed that foolishness."

Qui-Gon smiled. He remembered it well. "My world would be lacking if I couldn't see you like this," he said. Gathering her into another embrace, all Qui-Gon could think of was how warm her skin was against his. She pulled his head down and kissed him. Her lips parted, inviting him to deepen the kiss and he responded. For all the times they both had to be reserved, to put their feelings aside, they both reveled in the times they could be together and allow their passions a freer rein.

Qui-Gon stepped back slightly, and Vandalyn's fingers trailed down his arm. He took her shoulders and gently, but firmly, turned her away from him. She angled her head back, only to find him right next to her. "Shhh," he whispered in her ear. His hands moved on her shoulders, massaging them. Vandalyn's head leaned back and she sighed.

"Keep your eyes closed," he said. "Just feel." Qui-Gon ran the very tips of his fingers along Vandalyn's shoulders and down her arms. She inhaled sharply as a shiver ran through her. A moment later, she felt the lightest touch along her hips and he ran his fingers up her back. Qui-Gon continued to dust her with the lightest of touches until Vandalyn breath came in ragged gasps.

In a simple move, Qui-Gon lifted her off of her feet and carried Vandalyn to the bed. The sheets were cool against their skin. Vandalyn kept her arms firmly around his neck and her fingers tangled in his hair. She slid one leg around to hook his when he tried to move. Vandalyn kissed his throat, his face, until Qui-Gon's head spun, and his breath caught in his throat. He shifted slightly, a half-hearted attempt to move away from her, to make the anticipation last a little longer.

"No." Vandalyn's whispered laugh was deep and husky. "No more waiting."

"No more waiting," he replied. They both gasped as he became part of her, as stunned by the depth of emotion now as they had been the first time they made love.

Later, exhausted and sated, Vandalyn lay in Qui-Gon's arms, her back pressed against him. She could tell he was drifting down to sleep by the way the tempo of his breathing slowed and deepened. As he did, he curled his arm a little more closely around her. She slid her hand over his, content that he was so close, and allowed herself to wander down the paths of sleep as well.

Just before she fell asleep she whispered, "I love you." Qui-Gon, too deeply asleep to speak, tightened his arm for a moment and Vandalyn smiled.

-- -- -- --

_Hi everyone. Hope you enjoyed it. Freya, I hope this was steamy enough for you. Actually, I'd appreciate feedback on this chapter, especially my "love scene." I always feel like I struggle when I write these. I waffle… I don't want it to sound TOO much like a romance novel, but without a little of that, I run the risk of being to brusque and clinical. I'd appreciate you all letting me know how I did with this one. Good? Bad? Mediocre? Thanks – as always – for reading and reviewing! I'll try to post again soon._


	19. Chapter 19

_**Author's note: **__one section of this chapter draws dialogue from the movie and is used for purposes of continuity._

**Chapter 19**

Both Qui-Gon and Vandalyn were up with the dawn, and after a brief meditation, the first form of _ah'dan sho_, and a shower that did not last nearly as long as either of them would have liked, they went to bring Anakin to his interview.

"The boy troubles me, Qui-Gon," Vandalyn said as they walked down the hall.

"Troubles you? Why?"

"He is very fearful. I could sense it when we left him last night. He was afraid you would not return and that I was the cause of it."

"He is young, and this is an enormous change for him," answered Qui-Gon, providing a sensible reason for the boy's feelings.

"Young? For a padawan learner his is quite old," she reminded him. "Do his fears not concern you? Surely you sense them as well."

"He does have some fear, but with training that can be erased. With confidence he will grow to be a tremendous Jedi. Vandalyn, I have never seen – the Jedi have never seen – anyone with as much potential as this boy… he is the Chosen One."

Her steps slowed and she looked out one of the windows and into the distance, her eyes losing focus. A few moments later, Qui-Gon realized she'd stopped and turned back to her. "Vandalyn?" he asked, putting a gentle hand on her elbow.

"His future is filled with fire," she said softly.

"Do not dwell in the mist of the future," Qui-Gon said. "Being here, in the present, in the now as part of the Living Force is the key. Too long have the Jedi wandered in dreams and their interpretations."

"Yet, you stand here speaking of this boy as the answer to prophecy…" she replied as they started walking again.

"They will see," said Qui-Gon, stubbornly holding true to his belief. "The boy will become a Jedi."

They found young Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan ready when they arrived. Qui-Gon took Anakin aside to explain what would happen during the interview, and as they spoke Vandalyn watched them intently. She frowned.

"Is something wrong, Vandalyn?" asked Obi-Wan.

"I am concerned," she said, but said nothing beyond that.

It did not take long to walk back to the Jedi Council's chamber, and during the walk Anakin peppered both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan with questions. Despite her misgivings, Vandalyn had to admit he was a charming little boy. Yes, there was fear within him, but there was also curiosity and intelligence and wonder. Qui-Gon brought him into the room and presented Anakin to the Council and then he left, for the Council would not interview the boy while Qui-Gon was there, lest his presence influence Anakin in any way.

There was a balcony area not far from the chambers where they could wait for the Council's verdict. Vandalyn intended to keep silent; she had said all she intended to about young Anakin Skywalker. Badgering him would only make Qui-Gon entrench more firmly in his position. Unaware of her earlier conversation with Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan was not content to let it rest, and she found that she could not keep her thoughts to herself.

"The boy will not pass the test, Master. He is too old," said Obi-Wan as he followed Qui-Gon out onto the balcony overlooking Coruscant.

"Obi-Wan is correct, Qui-Gon," said Vandalyn.

Qui-Gon, however, remained confident. "Anakin will become a Jedi, I promise you." Both Vandalyn and Obi-Wan heard the determination, the stubbornness, in Qui-Gon's voice.

"Do not defy the Council, Master. Not again," Obi-Wan nearly pleaded.

"I shall do what I must, Obi-Wan."

"If you would just follow the Code, you would be on the Council," Obi-Wan told him. "They will not go along with you this time."

Qui-Gon almost chuckled. "You have much to learn my young apprentice."

Over an hour later, a padawan that Qui-Gon did not recognize came out onto the balcony. He bowed to all three of them. "Master Jinn," said the padawan. "Master Windu and the rest of the Jedi Council request your presence. They have finished testing young Skywalker."

Entering the room, Vandalyn moved to the side where she could watch but not intrude on the Council meeting. Qui-Gon went to the center, where Anakin waited, and ruffled the boy's hair. Obi-Wan took up the traditional position of a padawan, close to his Master but slightly behind.

"The Force is strong with him," said Usa Tabor into the silence.

"He is to be trained then?" asked Qui-Gon.

"No. He will not be trained."

Qui-Gon stared at Windu, clearly startled. He unfolded his arms and put his hands on his hips. "No?" His voice was sharp.

"He is too old," said Windu.

"He is the Chosen One," Qui-Gon snapped back. "You must see it."

Vandalyn folded her arms and glanced at Obi-Wan; they were both just as surprised as Qui-Gon, and – based on the tone of Qui-Gon's voice – neither of them liked how the conversation was going.

Yoda spoke up. "Hmmm. Clouded this boy's future is."

"I will train him then," said Qui-Gon stubbornly. "I take Anakin as my padawan learner." Obi-Wan's head snapped around at that.

"An apprentice you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible to take a second." Yoda shook his head.

"The Code forbids it," growled Windu.

"Obi-Wan is ready," said Qui-Gon.

"I am ready to face the trials." Obi-Wan stepped forward eagerly, confident as only a padawan approaching his final tests could be.

"Our own counsel we will keep on who is ready." Yoda's voice was firm and it took some of the wind out of Obi-Wan's sails.

"He is headstrong," said Qui-Gon, "and he has much to learn of the Living Force, but he is capable. There is little more he can learn from me."

The comment did not sway Yoda. He looked at Anakin and shook his head again. "Young Skywalker's fate, decided later will be."

Mace shifted in his seat. "Now is not the time for this."

Obi-Wan's face fell slightly, disappointed by the Council's refusal to consider he might be ready to become a full Knight. Vandalyn felt his disappointment and understood it; she remembered feeling that way a few short years ago.

"The Senate," continued Windu, "is voting for a new Supreme Chancellor and Queen Amidala is returning home tomorrow. This will put pressure on the Federation and could widen the confrontation."

"And draw out the Queen's attacker," added Usa Tabor.

"Go with the Queen to Naboo and discover the identity of this dark warrior…" began Windu. A deep boom of alarm struck in Vandalyn's gut as he spoke. "This is the clue we need to unravel the mystery of the Sith."

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan both bowed, submitting to the wishes of the Council. As they turned to leave, Qui-Gon ushering Anakin in front of him, they all heard Yoda's voice.

"May the Force be with you."

-- -- -- --

_Hello everyone… thanks as always for reading my work. I really appreciate feedback, and would love to get a review. Of course, I love good feedback, but I know my writing isn't perfect, so if there's anything you see that could be improved let me know. Thanks!_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Vandalyn turned over in the bed. Her eyes fluttered and opened to darkness. She didn't want to know what time it was. Next to her, Qui-Gon slept soundly, his breath deep and relaxed. Sunrise wasn't far off and Vandalyn knew that – today – the sun would bring Qui-Gon's departure. She sighed and tried to lie still so that she wouldn't disturb him. Then she smiled in the darkness. Perhaps disturbing Qui-Gon wasn't such a bad idea.

She turned again and raised herself up on an elbow. With a slight lean she brought her lips to his shoulder and kissed Qui-Gon gently. His head moved slightly but his eyes remained shut. Vandalyn's smile widened as she began to gently rub her hand along his arm and over his chest. Still sleeping, he rolled onto his back, his unconscious mind playing exactly into Vandalyn's grand plan. When Qui-Gon came to his senses a few minutes later, he found Vandalyn astride him, laughing softly in the dark. As far as Qui-Gon was concerned, it was a magnificent way to wake up.

Later, Obi-Wan had the good sense not to ask why both Qui-Gon and Vandalyn were late for breakfast. As they finished, Queen Amidala's handmaiden came up to their table. She bowed respectfully. "Pardon my intrusion," she said. "The Queen is ready to depart as soon as you are, Master Jinn."

"Thank you," said Qui-Gon. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and put it on the table. "We are just about finished here, and will come directly to the ship. We will be there within the hour."

"Very good," said the handmaiden. "I will inform the Queen." She bowed and left.

Vandalyn took the last few bites of her breakfast in silence and looked across the table at Qui-Gon. He was watching her. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, was studiously working his way through a second helping of breakfast. Once he was finished they all stood and walked towards the docking bay.

"A moment of your time, Qui-Gon?" Vandalyn gestured to a side room, not far from their destination.

"Go on ahead," Qui-Gon said to Obi-Wan. "I will be there momentarily."

"As you wish, Master." He bowed quickly to both Qui-Gon and Vandalyn and then went to attend to the final preparations.

"You are troubled?" Qui-Gon asked Vandalyn. She took his hand in hers and raised it up, kissing the tips of his fingers.

"I am troubled. Be careful on this trip, Qui-Gon. I have a bad feeling about this."

He gave her a soft kiss. "I will be careful, Vandalyn. You need not worry."

"I would feel better if I went with you to Naboo," she said, "but Zava Ur is bringing a delegation here to Coruscant. He asked for you to be his personal liaison, but Master Windu said you would be on Naboo, but that I would be happy to serve."

"And are you?" "Of course," she said, "but I would be happier to go with you and Obi-Wan. There is more danger in this mission if there is a Sith Lord about."

"We will be back in time to see the Doma before he leaves," Qui-Gon assured her. They left the room and walked side by side to the docking bay, close enough that – from time to time – their arms brushed one another. At the entrance to the docking bay, Qui-Gon put a gentle hand on Vandalyn's elbow to stop her. He looked down at the woman who had become such an important part of him.

"I know you've been sent on an errand to Ebettra and will return in time to greet the Doma when he arrives here. I promise I will return shortly after that. We will be successful at Naboo."

There was confidence and certainty in his voice and Vandalyn appreciated that, and she smiled up at him. He leaned down in a moment of spontaneity and kissed Vandalyn. She was surprised and delighted, and they got a few not-so-subtle stares from Jedi who did not know about their relationship. He stepped away and headed for the ship, allowing his fingers to trail down Vandalyn's arm and linger as they interlaced with her fingers. Their eyes met and both smiled but they did not speak.

Then, Qui-Gon turned and walked towards the Queen of Naboo's ship. Vandalyn watched the ship's door close behind Qui-Gon, and she could see Obi-Wan in the front window of the ship. She raised her hand in a farewell. "May the Force be with you both," she said. She had a strange feeling they were going to need it.

-- -- --

Two weeks later, Vandalyn woke violently from a sound sleep with a burning pain in her chest. She drew a ragged breath in and clutched at the bed sheets. Her blood, her skin, they were on fire. Stunned, she realized the emotion tearing through her was terror, and in that instant, she knew what had happened.

She sent her senses ranging out into the universe, and he was not there. Usually she could sense Qui-Gon no matter how far away from her he was physically. But now… there was nothing. She could not sense him at all. There was nothing but emptiness.

_He's gone!_ The words rang in her head as she sent her senses ranging through space. _He is dead! Someone has taken him from me! _Another heartbeat later she came back to herself, shouting her agony into a blackened room as her heart shattered, a brilliant supernova within her soul that left her diminished and alone.

Many thousands of miles away, others felt it too… Qui-Gon's absence, her pain. Yoda looked at Mace Windu and he sighed heavily. "Destroy her, this may." There was deep, abiding sorrow in his voice. "Understand she did not."

-- -- -- --

_Hi… I know this was a bit short, but don't worry… there is still more to come. I hope you liked this chapter even if it was short, and I am looking forward to getting your feedback. Thanks!_


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

It took Vandalyn less than two days to reach Coruscant, but in that time she did not rest. When she did arrive, she did not go to her quarters. Instead, she went directly to the Council chamber. She knew they would be waiting for her. People who saw her in the halls were disturbed and frightened; some even backed away. Vandalyn's face was pale and haunted, her cheeks gaunt. Dark circles beneath her eyes discolored her complexion… but it was the eyes themselves that struck everyone who saw her. They simmered with emotions much too complex to sort and far, far too dangerous to unleash. It was a look that could easily turn to madness.

Only perhaps half of the Council was there when she walked in. She offered no words, no bows to acknowledge their greater years of study. Vandalyn walked to the center of the room.

"Qui-Gon is dead." Vandalyn didn't bother to pose the fact as a question. Windu and Yoda, both who were looking out the window at the city-planet heard her but neither turned around when she spoke. It irritated her.

"Did you really send him to Naboo? Did he fall to the Sith Lord? Why was I not sent with him? I even gave you the courtesy of a request…"

Finally, both turned. "If gone you had," said Yoda, "lost more than one Jedi we may have."

"Or lost none at all!" She locked eyes with Yoda first and then with Windu, glaring at each of them in turn.

"Obi-Wan brings him here," said Windu. "He defeated the Sith Lord who took Qui-Gon Jinn from our company if that is any consolation for you."

"Nothing can console me," Vandalyn snapped.

"Beware, Vandalyn Mateo," said Yoda. "Deep anger in you I sense. Dangerous you are, but vulnerable, too. Beware the Dark Side. As anger part of you becomes, so does the Dark Side."

"I am the master of my emotions," she said coldly. "They do not master me." She turned her back on them and left the room.

Yoda sighed. "Lose her we may," he said with a shake of his head.

Out in the hallway, Senator Palpatine – the undiscovered cause of Vandalyn's sorrow – covertly watched her as she stalked past him in the hallway. _I had forgotten her,_ he thought to himself. _Losing Darth Maul – my own apprentice – to Kenobi's hand has set my plans back. Perhaps I do not have to search far for his replacement._ He smiled discreetly and continued on his way.

Unaware of the Senator, Vandalyn went back to her room. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't remember traversing the halls until she was in front of her door. Feeling adrift, she knew she needed to meditate, to get centered. Vandalyn settled herself on the floor after she went inside and threw all of her energy into a meditation, trying to find some way to soothe her ravaged soul. It did not work.

_Obi-Wan killed the one responsible for this,_ she thought. _I should be satisfied with that; it should calm my desire for retribution and revenge… _She sat in silence for a few moments and sighed. "But it does not," she said to the silent room. She stood up and took off her brown outer robe. She threw it on a chair.

Unable to sit, Vandalyn walked into the bedroom. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms as if she was cold. She stopped as a simple object caught her eye: one of Qui-Gon's robes. It lay where he'd left it hanging across the foot of the bed. Vandalyn picked it up and brought the material to her cheek, imagining the feel of Qui-Gon's beard against her own, imagining the robe was still warm from his skin.

The rage surged back up to the surface, acid and painful. "One Sith Lord took you from me," she hissed, clutching the robe closer too her. "There is another. There are always two… I will see the other one destroyed. I will make sure they are all destroyed…"

_You forget your training, padawan._ The stern voice echoed in her head.

_Padawan? I am a full Jedi,_ she thought defensively, stung by the rebuke.

_You behave like a padawan. You forget your training. Anger and rage unrestrained pull you to the embrace of the Dark Side…_

Then, Vandalyn literally jumped to the side and spun around. The voice in her head had been Qui-Gon's! In the span of a heartbeat her face softened and a tear rolled down her cheek. Her eyes darted around the room. The voice seemed so real, so warm. Surely he was here. Surely there had been a mistake. Qui-Gon, however, was not there and no matter how hard she tried, Vandalyn could not feel his energy within the fabric of the Living Force.

"Am I losing my mind? Has my grief driven me to madness?" she asked, her anger replaced by shock. The voice – Qui-Gon's voice – did not answer her. She let her shoulders sag. In that moment exhaustion seized Vandalyn and she literally staggered a step. Not only had she been up for days already, but she was utterly drained emotionally. Suddenly, the only important thing was sleep. She crawled onto the bed, pulled Qui-Gon's robe into her arms. Her eyes fluttered and started to close.

"I just want to see you again," she whispered as sleep overpowered her. "Just one more time… Just one more time… Qui-Gon…"

Vandalyn did not wake up until well after noontime the next day. When her eyes finally opened, she had a few moments of peace as she blinked and tried to remember where she was. The feel of Qui-Gon's robe in her hands brought the memories back in an instant, and with them came the pain, the loneliness. It took her a long time to drag herself out of bed.

She nibbled at a piece of fruit with little interest. There was a blinking message light by her monitor. She tapped the monitor and watched the text scroll up. It was a short message from Obi-Wan. He had arrived on Coruscant during the night. _I have brought him to the Jedi Temple, _was the extent of the message. Somehow, knowing he was here, gave Vandalyn a moment of solace, but it only reinforced what she'd felt as she fell asleep. She needed to see Qui-Gon again. She pulled her robe on and belted it, and as she walked out of the door, she pulled her hood up to conceal her face. Vandalyn was not interested in enduring the stares, the curiosity and the pity.

The Jedi Temple was a wonderful place. Despite the fact that the planet of Coruscant was covered by a massive city, there were still pockets of solitude and nature. The Jedi Temple was one of them. It was an ancient building that rested on top of a wooded hill. It was one of the oldest of the Jedi buildings and was used often for meditations and meetings. It was also used for funerals. Vandalyn stopped some distance away and just stared at the Temple.

The stone was grey and arched windows surrounded the exterior except for the wide double doors at the front. At night, lit from within, the Temple always glowed with a warm, welcoming light. Today, the afternoon sun flooded the Temple's interior. Legend said that the Temple collected and saved the sunlight, sending it back out into the universe at night as a reminder that there was always light, even within the darkness.

Stepping into the Temple, Vandalyn's eyes went directly to the central bier. A shape lay atop it, but she refused – for a moment – to admit that it was Qui-Gon. Vandalyn's throat felt raw. She was angry, empty and lost. As she stood there, the desire to see him again slowly began to override her reluctance. Slowly, step by step, she crossed the open expanse of floor until she was close enough to see his face.

Obi-Wan had treated him gently, and she was grateful for that. There was no sign of battle that she could see. Qui-Gon's face looked serene. His robes were neat and his hair had been combed. Behind her, Obi-Wan paused in the doorway. He did not want to intrude on Vandalyn's privacy; he had felt her anger, her pain when Qui-Gon died, but he also knew how important it was to talk to her and share what had happened.

"His last thoughts were of you," said Obi-Wan quietly after he had come closer. "I thought you should know."

"Tell me what happened, Obi-Wan," she said. "No, show me."

"Show you?"

"The way I had to show the Council my memories of Qui-Gon. I know how to do it now…"

"There are only two of us…"

"It is enough. Without the others I will only be able to observe, not truly understand what you felt and what you thought," said Vandalyn. She understood his hesitance. "Please, Obi-Wan. I have to know. I have to _see_…"

Obi-Wan nodded. He held out his hand and she grasped it with surprising strength. With a deep breath, Obi-Wan opened his memories to Vandalyn.

-- -- -- --

_Thus the story continues. Thanks for all of the reviews; I'm glad you're enjoying it. I still have several chapters to go, but the end is on the horizon. The ride has been fun so far!_


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Obi-Wan didn't waste any time with preliminary memories... He and Qui-Gon had found the Sith Lord – Darth Maul – within the vast complex of Queen Amidala's palace on Naboo. While fighting raged within the confines of the building, the two Jedi remained focused on their adversary. They pursued him fiercely through the palace and with each parry of light saber blades, and as she watched the memory Vandalyn hissed under her breath each time she watched Darth Maul strike with his double-bladed light saber.

Lashing out with a foot, the Sith Lord caught Obi-Wan in the chest, sending him careening over the edge of a cat walk in the palace's energy center. Qui-Gon knew his padawan would be fine and pressed the attack on Darth Maul. The Sith Lord had been distracted with Obi-Wan's fall and became a victim of his own tactics as Qui-Gon landed a solid kick to the chest. The Sith Lord careened the railing as well.

Using the Force, Obi-Wan slowed his descent. He landed heavily, but remained on his feet. He looked up in frustration to see that the Sith Lord had managed to land on the catwalk above him. Qui-Gon landed next to Darth Maul and they exchanged a flurry of blows. Obi-Wan began to run, not wanting his Master to face the Sith alone.

As he started to catch up with them, Obi-Wan realized that Qui-Gon and the Sith Lord were passing through a series of energy locks that separated one sensitive area of the energy chamber from the next. A loud hum signaled the next locking sequence and the energy barriers flared to life again. All three of them were trapped in separate energy compartments, confined until the locks deactivated again.

On his side, Darth Maul paced, his aggression barely leashed, impatient to resume the fight. Qui-Gon, for his part, knelt down, deactivated his light saber, and dropped himself into a light meditation. He focused on the Sith Lord's fighting skills, trying to find a weakness. Several sections back in the energy grid, Obi-Wan watched them, frustrated and feeling utterly impotent. The magnetic hum increased, growing louder and more rapid, and the locks opened again.

Instantly, Qui-Gon's light saber reactivated and he resumed his combat. Obi-Wan sprinted forward, desperately wanting to reach his Master and rejoin the fight. Ahead of him, Qui-Gon and the Sith Lord saw nothing but each other; they were both utterly focused on their battle. The blades of their light sabers flashed and sparked each time they struck each other. With another hum, the locks shifted again, sealing Obi-Wan away again.

Grinding his teeth in aggravation, all Obi-Wan could do was watch. The Sith Lord and Qui-Gon parried and thrust and danced their way around the edge of a circular drop off. The shaft extended several floors and was used for light aerobots to do maintenance in the energy center. There was only a thin railing around the opening since usually only robots worked there.

Qui-Gon spun and blocked one and then the other blade from the Sith Lord's light saber. Two quick thrusts made Darth Maul step back. He blocked another red blade and overreached slightly. To compensate, Qui-Gon brought his light saber up over his head, preparing for a cut straight down that would – hopefully – sever the center of the Sith Lord's light saber. In his chamber, Obi-Wan's eyes widened in terror; he saw the mistake. Qui-Gon's stance was too open.

The Sith Lord saw it too, and brought the center of his light saber up, striking Qui-Gon in the chin, and the Jedi Master's head snapped back at the force of the blow. That moment of disorientation was all that was required. Darth Maul dropped his center of gravity, thrust backward, and put his red blade directly into Qui-Gon Jinn's chest. The Jedi Master gasped, staggered, and dropped to the ground.

From his energy prison, Obi-Wan screamed in frustration and denial. The Sith Lord whipped around and turned his attention to the padawan; the Master was no longer a threat.

The hum changed again and the locks opened, releasing Obi-Wan from his temporary prison. He charged forward with a tremendous shout and carried the fight directly to the Sith Lord. Darth Maul stepped back, allowing Obi-Wan's emotions to carry him forward, but staggered briefly under the onslaught. After that, Obi-Wan pulled back, drawing his emotions under control. Rage and sorrow would cause mistakes, and he could not afford those.

They exchanged another flurry of blows, and Obi-Wan brought his light saber blade down, severing the center of Darth Maul's weapon, succeeding where his Master had failed. The damage destroyed one of the red blades and instantly took away the Sith Lord's advantage. The Dark Jedi did not hesitate he raised his hand and focused the Force. He channeled the mental energy and it slammed into Obi-Wan, knocking him backwards and over the edge of the maintenance shaft. He managed to grab onto the edge, stopping himself from falling, but he watched his light saber bounce off the walls and disappear into oblivion.

Obi-Wan looked up at the Sith Lord. The creature's bizarre black and red face leered down at him, gloating at the anticipated victory. Obi-Wan stretched his free hand up reaching, his fingers trembling as he concentrated. Darth Maul was so entranced by his victim's predicament, that he did not notice Qui-Gon Jinn's light saber begin to vibrate as Obi-Wan used the Force to summon it. Beads of sweat appeared on Obi-Wan's face.

An instant later, Qui-Gon's light saber flew through the air as Obi-Wan surged upward. The Sith Lord stood there, frozen, stunned to see Obi-Wan leaping towards him. Because he had not used that aspect of the Force before, the Sith Lord had mistakenly assumed that Obi-Wan was not advanced enough to understand it. Obi-Wan slashed downward with his Master's light saber and practically cut the Dark Jedi in half. Darth Maul teetered on the edge of the shaft for a moment. He blinked in surprise and fell backward, dropping away down the shaft. Obi-Wan did not watch him fall – he ran to Qui-Gon's side and pulled his Master into his arms. Qui-Gon was still breathing.

"It's too late…" Qui-Gon's voice was hoarse, faded.

"No." Obi-Wan refused to accept it.

"Obi-Wan, promise… promise me you'll train the boy…"

"Yes, Master."

Qui-Gon's eyes traveled over Obi-Wan's face and he reached up to touch the tears on his padawan's cheek. "He is the Chosen One; he will bring balance to the Force. Train him…"

"Master!" Obi-Wan spoke more sharply, trying to keep Qui-Gon anchored. His hands tightened as if he could bind Qui-Gon to life simply through the strength of his grip. Qui-Gon's head turned slightly and his eyes unfocused as they looked into the distance as if he was listening for something, or someone. A tear gathered in the corner of the Jedi Master's eye.

Qui-Gon struggled to draw his breath in. "Vandalyn…" he whispered. "My Vandalyn…" Then he was gone. Obi-Wan was still weeping over Qui-Gon's lifeless body when Queen Amidala and her guards found them.

-- -- -- --

_I hope this worked. Since most of this sequence in the movie was action and not dialogue, I felt narrative was the best way to handle the memories, keeping the dialogue to a minimum. There are only about three or four more chapters left in this… so I thank you all for coming along on the ride so far. I hope you'll continue to read to the end (and review if you can – I do love hearing from people who've read my stuff!)._


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Vandalyn tore herself out of the memories with an anguished cry. She wrapped her arms around herself, but even that could not stop her trembling. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to distort the memory but she continued to see the Sith's energy blade drive into Qui-Gon and the look of shock and pain on his face. Obi-Wan stayed near her but refrained from touching Vandalyn.

When she opened her eyes again, Vandalyn's gaze fell on Qui-Gon's body and her expression softened. She took a hesitant step forward. Then another. And another. Finally she stood right next to the bier. Reaching out a hand, Vandalyn gently let the back of her fingers run down his cheek. The skin was cool; he was truly gone.

That cool, marble skin somehow demolished her rage, and the sorrow came flooding through. Vandalyn choked on a sob, her shoulders beginning to shake, and then the sobs came louder and stronger as tears coursed down her cheeks. Memories flooded through her… _quiet, private jokes with Qui-Gon… learning the intricacies of new light saber forms… arguments and deep philosophical debates… and romantic and passionate nights together…_ Her sobs cut right to Obi-Wan's heart. The trip back from Naboo had given him a great deal of private time, and he had mourned extensively. What mattered now was letting Vandalyn mourn, and he knew that her tears would help wash the anger away.

She started to sink and Obi-Wan pulled her into his arms and they both slid to the floor next to the bier. He let Vandalyn bury her head in his shoulder and cry. Wishing he could do something else to comfort her, Obi-Wan ran a hand down her hair. It seemed to be a hollow gesture, but he wasn't certain what else to do. Then Vandalyn surprised him: she dropped all of her mental shields.

Each Jedi was taught when they were younglings and padawans how to shield their thoughts and feelings when needed… that was how Vandalyn and Qui-Gon had kept their affair secret for so long. But as she cried her pain and sorrow out into the universe, Vandalyn no longer cared what Obi-Wan knew about her, about how she felt now… and how she had truly felt about Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan was touched – and humbled – by the trust implicit in the gesture.

_Anger, pain, sadness, loss, loneliness, _he thought as each emotion hit him. _Yet, under it all is love of astounding depth and acceptance_. _Had I not felt this now, I would have never believed how much they loved each other…_

In return for her trust, Obi-Wan opened some of his own feelings, letting Vandalyn understand how much he loved and respected his Master, how much he owed Qui-Gon for his patience and teachings. At first, it only made Vandalyn cry harder. Obi-Wan held her until the sobs lessened.

"Thank you," she said as she wiped her wet cheeks. "Qui-Gon always trusted you… he loved you, too."

"I know he did," said Obi-Wan softly. He held out a hand and helped Vandalyn to her feet. "And I thank you for sharing your feelings with me. I think I understand now…" As they spoke, both began to walk towards the entrance, and realized that hours had passed. It was dark outside.

"I thought you should know… What was between us was unusual at best. It seemed important that you understand…" Vandalyn's voice trailed away. Obi-Wan reached out a hand and touched her elbow, bringing Vandalyn to a halt.

"You should have this." He pulled something off of his belt. She looked down and realized he was handing her a light saber. No, not just a light saber; it was Qui-Gon's light saber. Vandalyn curled her fingers around it, and brought it up so it pressed against her heart. A moment later, she handed it back to Obi-Wan.

"No," she said, her smile wan and sad. "I appreciate that you would offer this to me, but you should keep it. Qui-Gon would want you to keep it. You were his padawan and used it to defeat the Sith Lord. I know the Council has granted you a full Jedi's rank, it is fitting that you take his weapon as your own now. Carry it with honor." Obi-Wan bowed deeply to Vandalyn.

They continued to walk towards the doorway. Halfway there, Vandalyn stopped and looked back over her shoulder. "I don't know if I can bear the funeral," she said with a slight tremble in her voice. "I don't know if I can restrain my feelings in front of so many… if I can bear to see the flames…"

"Do what you must," said Obi-Wan. "No one will think less of you."

She bowed when they reached the doorway. "Thank you, Obi-Wan." And then she disappeared into the night.

-- -- -- --

_This one was a bit short, I know, but I wanted to limit it to Vandalyn coming to terms with her rage and finally giving herself permission to mourn. Also, for me, it was important to address Qui-Gon's light saber… it may just be a small detail, but for me, it needed to formally pass hands. A couple chapters to go and I'll get this wrapped up…_


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

After she left the Temple and Qui-Gon's body, Vandalyn disappeared into seclusion. No one, not even Obi-Wan, saw her, and as the day of the funeral drew closer, Obi-Wan began to wonder if anyone would ever see Vandalyn again. On the morning of Qui-Gon's funeral, Obi-Wan checked his messages several times, hoping to hear from Vandalyn. He was met with silence and a growing feeling of sadness.

The day proved to be interminably long, and as the morning stretched into afternoon and then finally into evening, a growing sense of restlessness began to fray the edges of the Jedis' normal outward calm. Finally, when darkness had blanketed the sky, the Jedi gathered in the Temple to bid farewell to one of their own. Several Senators, including Palpatine and Bail Organa, arrived along with Doma Zava Ur of Dunal. Also attending was Amidala, the young queen of Naboo. Even under her pale makeup and elaborate hairstyle she could not hide her sorrowful expression; Qui-Gon Jinn had died protecting her, trying to keep her world from being torn apart.

Qui-Gon's body rested on the central bier, and in moments the funeral pyre would be lit. His mortal form would be reduced to ash and scattered in the winds to follow his spirit. Mace Windu glanced around. Obi-Wan had spoken to him earlier and shared what Vandalyn had told him. Windu had promised to delay lighting the pyre as long as possible. With a sigh, he picked up the blazing torch that waited. There was no sign of Vandalyn, but he could wait no longer. Perhaps Yoda had been right; perhaps they had lost her.

As Windu stepped forward, prepared to light the catafalque and bier that would speed his friend into the next life, a rustle and a murmur stopped his hand. Through the gathered crowd, a robed and hooded figure strode towards him. It was Vandalyn; he could tell from the way she walked even though he could not see her face. His breath came out in a rush and it was only his years of discipline that kept anyone else from noticing.

Vandalyn passed Queen Amidala and Senator Palpatine, and the Senator allowed a gentle mental touch to emanate from his mind. It was meant to comfort and reassure, to lure Vandalyn into a sense of security around him. Now that she had reappeared, he intended to speak to her later, to express his sympathy, to let her know that he was there to support her. The lightest chill of the Dark Side's power touched her and Vandalyn stopped instantly.

Swinging around, her face still fully hidden by her hood, she scanned the crowd, a hound acquiring a scent. Palpatine was suddenly grateful that he could not see her face. He realized she had detected his thoughts more keenly than he had intended, and he immediately dampened them. Vandalyn waited for another moment, slowly absorbing the feelings near her, looking for whoever had touched her. She sensed nothing more and walked away from the small group.

Palpatine was wise enough not to immediately exhale the breath he was holding. _Perhaps I will not speak with this Vandalyn Mateo,_ he thought in a brief, momentary flash of insight. _She is not suitable for my purposes. There will be another; I must be patient._

No one noticed Palpatine shrinking back a little from the edge; all eyes were on Vandalyn. She reached the bier and stood by Qui-Gon's head, pulling back her hood as she did. Her hair was loose and her skin was pale. Vandalyn looked haggard, worn, but the fury that had filled her eyes was gone. In its place, only sorrow.

_Her cheeks are wet,_ thought Obi-Wan from where he stood slightly behind Windu. _She_ _still weeps for him._

Vandalyn put her hand on Qui-Gon's hair. "I am here to bid you farewell, beloved." Her voice was soft, but the acoustics of the Temple carried it to everyone there, and she did not care who among them knew that she loved Qui-Gon. "Although you are gone from this world, this life, you are in my heart always." She leaned forward and kissed him once – softly – on the forehead and stepped back.

Windu held the flaming torch out to her. "None better to send him on this journey than the one he loved best in this life, Vandalyn." She took the torch and nodded to Windu, thanking him for the opportunity and the honor. Then he walked to the side and took a place next to Yoda.

Vandalyn lowered the torch towards the wood and paused when the flame was mere inches away. The pause only lasted a moment, and then she thrust the torch into the wood and watched the first flames begin to caress the branches. _A traditional sending,_ she thought. _You would think this most ironic, Qui-Gon, considering how untraditional you could be. In fact, you would probably find this most amusing._

As the thought crossed her mind, Vandalyn felt the smallest vibration of energy on her back, as if the memory of a hand rested lightly on it. Qui-Gon used to rest his hand on her like that… Her eyes focused again on the bier, which was now nearly fully consumed by flame. The small smile that graced her lips disappeared as new tears filled her eyes.

"Saved her, Qui-Gon did," Yoda whispered as the flames danced. "Teetering on the edge she was. Pulled her back, hmmmm..." He paused and watched Vandalyn for a moment. "Stands with her even now, he does," continued the ancient Jedi Master. "Most see him not, but some do."

"Young Obi-Wan does, judging by his face," answered Windu softly.

At the head of the bier, Vandalyn had been forced back a few feet by the heat of the flames, but she stubbornly refused to retreat any further. Behind her, a ghostly shimmering shape stood perfectly still. No one, save Windu, Yoda, and Obi-Wan could see Qui-Gon's Force spirit. It was best that way. The extent of the spirit's life and capacity was the final mystery, and it was learned only by a few Jedi. Windu and Yoda had only learned of it after Qui-Gon's death, when his Force ghost had come to them in the night to reveal the secret. The ghostly form shimmered again, and grew clearer. There was a profound sadness in Qui-Gon's eyes as he reached out a ghostly hand to touch Vandalyn's hair.

"Willing to pay any price, they were," said Yoda. "This cost? Expect it, they did not. Together they will be, yet always apart. Never again to touch as once they did."

Vandalyn remained at the bier long after the last Jedi left, and long after the embers of Qui-Gon's bier faded to cold ash. As the first rays of dawn began to erase the night, she touched her fingers to her lips and blew a kiss to the universe. When she left the Temple, she did not look back.

-- -- -- --

_Sorry this one took so long… real life caught up with me and kept me away from Qui-Gon and Vandalyn. I've only got one or two chapters left in me for this story, and I'll do my best to get these written and posted quickly (and more quickly than this last one)! Hope the delay hasn't been TOO long… I'm looking forward – as always – to hearing your feedback!_


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

And so the price for loving Qui-Gon Jinn was paid, willingly, but not gladly as Vandalyn had once so boldly promised. After the funeral, Vandalyn spoke briefly to Yoda and then she left Coruscant. She went several places, but finally ended up on Dunal where Zava Ur gave her a small house in a remote area. He assured her she would remain undisturbed and to stay there as long as she wanted. The house was on a cliff overlooking the ocean; it was a tranquil, beautiful spot. Vandalyln remained there for two years, mourning and healing, and – as promised before leaving Coruscant – contacting Yoda from time to time.

Vandalyn used the time to meditate, to think, to heal. During her solitude, she also learned that Qui-Gon was not completely gone. Her understanding started in dreams, vivid dreams of Qui-Gon instructing her as if she was a young padawan again. For many months she denied the dreams, tried to shut them out, but eventually her resistance wore away. Then, and only then, did Qui-Gon's Force Ghost speak to Vandalyn outside her dream-state. He told her how he had discovered how to keep his personality intact as he moved from mortal form to his energy form after he died.

Once Vandalyn realized that part of her lover still existed, her world shifted. Each day part of her heart rejoiced with the sense that Qui-Gon was near her, even if he did not speak to her, and part wept bitterly for often it seemed as if he were so close, yet she could never touch him. It was the same for Qui-Gon. He could be near Vandalyn, but never truly with her.

He watched her often, but mostly from a distance. Qui-Gon knew he could serve as her guide, her mentor when needed. He also knew he could comfort her when needed, but he was also keenly aware that they existed on different planes of existence now, and Vandalyn needed to make her own way through her life. She needed to make her own mistakes, learn her own lessons, just as she had when he was alive. He could be patient. He would have to be; given the long life of most Jedi, it would be many long years before Vandalyn transformed and moved to his plane of existence.

Finally, her soul healed, Vandalyn returned to Coruscant without preamble or announcement. She merely appeared in the Council chamber one afternoon. Yoda was, perhaps, the only one not surprised by her return. Several days later, he asked Vandalyn to meet with him and Mace Windu. When she did, they asked her if she would take over a padawan's training. Orrin Amura, and old and respected Jedi, had passed beyond in his sleep. His padawan, a young woman named, Mari'el, was still in need of a mentor for several more years before she was ready to take on the full responsibility of a Jedi Knight.

Vandalyn accepted, and when she did, they unexpectedly granted her the rank of Master. Most Jedi needed to fully train a padawan before they were considered a full Master. Windu simply pointed out that she had demonstrated her mastery quite clearly two years ago, and that training a padawan was an unnecessary formality in the Council's eyes. During the ensuing five years, Vandalyn learned as much as she taught. Mari'el was intelligent and – truth be told – frosty almost to a fault. They disagreed on many things, but both were better for the relationship.

Ten years to the day from the night she watched the flames consume Qui-Gon's body, Vandalyn returned to the Jedi temple. As she stood there, gazing at the central bier, she felt Qui-Gon's spirit around her, and because he was there, she shed no tears this time. A short time later, however, another presence touched her awareness.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," she said without turning around. "It has been many years since I have seen you."

"I thought I might find you here, Vandalyn. You look well."

She turned and smiled, and Obi-Wan was pleased to see that there was no lingering pain in her eyes. Behind him was Anakin, who was standing silently, somewhat sullenly, clearly unhappy to be there. Her smile faltered for only a fraction of a moment, but her voice remained cordial.

"Anakin. I have heard many good things about your skill with the light saber."

"Master Mateo," he said formally with a bow. "Thank you. My Master is a very good teacher."

There was a moment of strained silence. She wanted to like Anakin, to see the promise that Qui-Gon had seen in him, but she found she could not. Anakin knew it, deep in his soul, and it only soured him towards Vandalyn more.

"You may go, padawan," said Obi-Wan. "We are done for the day and will resume with your studies in the morning."

"As you wish, Master. Master Mateo." Anakin left them but did not return to his quarters.

"He tries very hard," said Obi-Wan, preempting any comment from Vandalyn.

"Do. Or do not. There is no try," replied Vandalyn, quoting something Master Yoda had told her once. Obi-Wan frowned, and then changed the subject.

"You seem at peace with yourself," he said.

Vandalyn nodded. She knew that Qui-Gon's Force Ghost had not yet spoken to Obi-Wan. "I am. There is still a piece of him that exists within my heart and I find solace in that. But I find I still miss him each day." They remained silent, both sifting through memories of their time with Qui-Gon.

"Have you forgiven yourself, Obi-Wan?" Her voice was soft, but he flinched nonetheless.

"If I had been faster, more adept with my light saber..." His voice trailed away. "If we hadn't been separated, things would be different."

"Yes," she agreed. "Perhaps both of you would be dead now. Perhaps I would be a tool of the Dark Side, having been unable to let go of the anger and the grief. You cannot continue to second-guess what happened in the past. If I learned that lesson, so can you."

"Someday, perhaps," said Obi-Wan. They were silent again for a few minutes. Vandalyn watched him out of the corner of her eye.

"Your beard seems grayer," she said after a few minutes.

Obi-Wan's mouth quirked into a smile. "I believe it is the youngling's doing, especially when he flies… especially when he flies." Vandalyn laughed at that. She had heard stories of Anakin's excessively daring piloting antics. They chatted for a few more minutes, some of the conversation social, some voicing concerns about the increasingly troubling tendencies of the Senate.

They bowed to each other before they parted ways. Vandalyn took the long route back to her quarters. That had been a pleasant surprise when she got back. Rather than empty the room and put her – and Qui-Gon's – belongings into storage, Yoda had ordered the room left empty against her eventual return. A few had grumbled, but Yoda had ignored them, and no one challenged him.

Her steps slowed when she turned the corner. Anakin was waiting for her, his arms folded. He looked up the instant he realized she was there. Vandalyn offered him a smile.

"Anakin. What can I do for you?" She opened the door and gestured him in with a wave of her hand. He came in, but remained silent for a minute, obviously thinking very hard about something.

"Why do you hate me?"

The question caught Vandalyn off-guard. She frowned at Anakin, puzzled. "Hate you? I don't hate you, Anakin. Why do you think that?" As she spoke, she racked her brain trying to remember if there had been any time at all that she'd done something that would have made him think such a thing.

"You blame me. You think it's my fault that Master Jinn died!" His fists were bunch and his shoulders were raised and tight, almost as if he expected a fight.

"No, padawan. You were just a little boy then. It wasn't your fault." She kept her breathing deep and even, maintaining her center. The emotion practically crackled as it came off Anakin, and she was not going to give him any reason to become more agitated.

"You never believed him… you never believed I was the Chosen One. If Master Jinn had never found me, he'd still be alive today. After he died, you never talked to me. You never looked at me."

That small bit of truth stung. "Oh, youngling. It wasn't just you. I didn't really talk to anyone. You were not so special that I only ignored you. I had too much pain to deal with." The instant she finished, Vandalyn knew she'd chosen her words poorly.

Anakin erupted. "I am special!" he shouted. "I'll show you! I'll show you that Master Jinn was right. I am the Chosen One. You'll see! I'll show everyone!" He stormed away, leaving Vandalyn frowning in his wake.

"That," she said softly although no one was around, "is what I fear."

**Epilogue**

Given the potentially long life granted to Jedi from their affiliation with the Force, Vandalyn and Qui-Gon's reunion came sooner than any ever expected. During that terrible time, when wretched betrayal tore the Jedi apart, Vandalyn threw herself between an enemy and Obi-Wan's unprotected back. It was a selfless, compassionate act, and in the chaos of the fighting, Obi-Wan didn't realize that Vandalyn had taken a mortal wound to save him.

As she lay dying, Vandalyn was satisfied. There would be no bier for her, but there would be no bier for most of the Jedi this time. Only a few would survive this hunt. And Qui-Gon was with her, waiting, as he had been since the day of his own death.

In the moment she released her hold on her old life, another ripple ran through the Force, a profound sensation felt by anyone sensitive to those currents. It was a bright moment of joy amid all of the pain and death as two souls, separated by time and longing, finally came together. That instant of joy brought hope to Yoda and forgiveness to Obi-Wan, and their own spirits rejoiced for a moment amid all their sorrow.

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_Well, that's it. This one is done. I really hope you enjoyed this story, and I appreciate all of the reviews and feedback. I'd love to have you check in on my other stories, if you're interested. Thanks again!_


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